Intimacy: Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also... - FML

By guest - 01/04/2011 21:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 149

You deserved it 6 675

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Same thing different taste

By TerribleAddiction - 15/02/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 466

You deserved it 3 352

By fmylifebigtime - 25/02/2012 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 595

You deserved it 3 485

By Spockx - 06/08/2012 11:20 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 2 875

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 15:10 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 744

You deserved it 7 175

By cigarettes - 11/12/2014 18:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 317

You deserved it 13 876

New kink unlocked

By poopface82 - 02/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 549

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - 05/01/2010 05:55 - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 408

You deserved it 41 942

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 126

By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 837

You deserved it 8 000

Technique

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 23:02

Spicy

Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 262

Next

Top comments

Happygofucky 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:25

Don't worry, once the stress from not smoking kicks in she will be begging you for a release. Have fun!

Woodsy007 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:39

wow. seriously? it's all about you. I'm so sorry your wife is trying to extend her life and a fantastic thing like quitting smoking. but oh no, it SUCKS being you because your just going to die without sex. boohoo.

Comments

IdontWanna69 8

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:38

You could shove a cig in her vag...

Decodedman 1

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:41

Statistically, women already live longer than men. So having sex now would save her from many lonely years down the road. Do her. For her.

Alderman55 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:48

Noooooo! by the way I would be scared to breath if I saw that guy in tango's picture lol

jared134 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:52

that her way of saying your bad in bed lol just go get a hooker or do her best friend

FMLsOhilarious 6

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:07

sucks for you haha

princesssisi55 2

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:13

well if she has to smoke to even have sex with you I feel sorry for your wife not you fhl!!

CassSanchez 5

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:16

hahahah !

Tattooed27 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:20

baby steps soon she will want it in her ass

j_cat187 19

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:25

tabacco sux smoke weed

MissBunny25 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:26

I'd walk up to him and offer him macaroni. hell yeah, bitches.

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, my hypochondria is getting worse. I think it's because of watching too much Grey's Anatomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 736

Today, I got a new kitten. He's orange, and definitely fits the stereotypes. I've already had to stop him from killing himself or otherwise getting into dangerous areas four times. I can't leave him alone for more than five seconds. Please tell me this is not a sign of the times to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 301

Today, I noticed I was starting to get a double chin. I’ve only just gotten to a healthy weight after a serious battle with anorexia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 124

Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 146

You deserved it 1 407

Today, the girl I work with, who I’ve developed feelings for, started dating another guy at work. She’d told me that she “doesn’t believe” in dating coworkers and she doesn’t “shit where she eats.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 287

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 519

You deserved it 8 392