Intimacy: Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 316

You deserved it 13 179

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 19:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 050

You deserved it 10 588

Countdown

By unsatisfying - 28/10/2010 05:05 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 524

You deserved it 15 576

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 16:00

Spicy

Today, my wife stopped halfway through a blowjob to check a notification on her phone for a game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 187

You deserved it 399

By horribleevening - 31/01/2019 22:00 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, my wife was sitting next to me surrounded by friends and she decided to start looking up the man that she had an affair on Facebook on her phone - all while I am sitting right next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 590

You deserved it 280

Heads up

By nobueno - 06/09/2021 23:01

Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 28/01/2011 19:59 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 809

You deserved it 43 601

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

By Privacy please - 30/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 77

Classic

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 00:00

Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 1 443

By 0h_Boy - 20/04/2016 20:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 911

You deserved it 2 546

Content warning

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 00:00 - Germany

Today, I was working from home and had an important meeting with my superiors. It was fine until my sleepy wife came in and asked if I could find a better time for calls. I didn't notice her right away and failed to disable my camera. She was fully naked, and I received an email about inappropriate behaviour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 179

Next

Top comments

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Sunday 9 June 2013 12:20

I got bad news about your sex game...

MrSarcasmic 10

Sunday 9 June 2013 12:26

she was actually writing an FML of her own

Comments

drew12089 2

Monday 10 June 2013 4:33

Sorry but if you're still inside her and she's checking her email YOU aren't doing something right

sammyjanette 17

Monday 10 June 2013 5:15

Wow, I just Had Sex started playing in my iTunes while I was reading this FML. She's still having sex with even though she doesn't find it particularly enjoyable. I don't see what the problem is. She's not complaining about it, and your only complaint about her performance was that she seemed bored, so it's obviously enjoyable for you. Where's the problem?

davincidasecond 24

Monday 10 June 2013 7:36

What do you mean where's the problem? I personally would be pretty concerned of my girlfriend was checking her phone while we were having sex. For me, sex isn't really enjoyable unless I know my partner is also enjoying it.

ballpython 15

Monday 10 June 2013 5:57

If that happened to me I would have grabbed my phone and texted her to see what the hell was the problem.

Sykes_1014 0

Monday 10 June 2013 8:03

Must've not been good lol

mattuti 8

Monday 10 June 2013 14:41

Finish and post a facebook status about it, possibly with pictures

avapaige1234 19

Monday 10 June 2013 15:05

Time to rev up your performance, OP!

jhs578650 9

Monday 10 June 2013 16:39

No, it is time for the OP's wife to stop checking her email during sex, and communicate what she likes in bed. People are responsible for their own orgasms. If the wife is dissatisfied then she needs to help fix the problem.

SiegeOfTheSiren 9

Monday 10 June 2013 21:20

It would be funny if she decided to check out her JUNK mail box at that time.

Yolandababy2 14

Monday 10 June 2013 23:22

Damn. Sex must really be that bad if she can stop and check her email. Lol

Zebediabolical 39

Tuesday 11 June 2013 2:56

If you go doggystyle your laptop can rest conveniently on her back. Then you can both check your email.

amifaiyaz 12

Tuesday 11 June 2013 2:56

time to spice things up.

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The Top

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 208

Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 769

You deserved it 6 456

Today, I had to take a test that's required to pass the class. The test administor told us that those of us who were wearing hoodies would have to take them off. I would have taken mine off, but I was only wearing a bra underneath. There's no other days I can reschedule the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 012

You deserved it 14 459

Today, a friend was trying to show me memes on her phone when I noticed she had a few tabs open. I told her she was draining her battery and should close them. She opened them. Two were sex toy store pages. She was so embarrassed that she kicked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 488

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 200

Today, my coworkers had a Thanksgiving party, but it was Christians only, so I wasn't invited. I'm an expat, and I don't know any other Americans here. I was lonely, so I invited a non-American friend out to dinner. She said she couldn't go because she was invited to a Thanksgiving party. I spent the evening alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 161

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said, "OK, now I can just block every message from you," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 651

You deserved it 4 536