Love: Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while...

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 334

You deserved it 5 168

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Same thing different taste

Stop assuming the worst!

By notbeeatingmywife - 21/08/2022 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend has some bruises from her karate class. We went shopping together and needless to say, I got quite a few dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 94

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 640

You deserved it 4 070

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 104

You deserved it 3 664

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

By kinlin - 02/06/2018 19:00

Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 095

You deserved it 935

By Stan - 29/08/2011 21:19 - United States

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 744

You deserved it 9 606

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 230

You deserved it 4 773

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 645

You deserved it 3 494

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 272

You deserved it 27 588

By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 356

You deserved it 264

KingLewisII 34

Monday 30 June 2014 1:21

Next time say I already warned you once.

subgub2222 16

Monday 30 June 2014 1:25

That horrible and people like your wife are the reason so many people don't take real domestic abuse seriously, your wife and people who do what she's doing are making domestic abuse into a big joke when it's really something very serious.

Comments

Sinclair935 5

Monday 30 June 2014 16:53

"That's two for flinching!"

hannahncm 1

Monday 30 June 2014 17:24

I'm very accident prone and I do this lol

ThePols 11

Monday 30 June 2014 17:32

Hahaha you married a keeper, dude.

siggy_mcsigx 22

Monday 30 June 2014 18:02

:/ I could never do that to my gentle boyfriend

Epickitty58 29

Monday 30 June 2014 18:27

Use her makeup to give yourself fake bruises and scratches. You got no pain, she got no game left to play. The only downside is that you may have to explain your side of the story to a jury of your peers once the domestic abuse calls start rolling in.

JJ_86 22

Monday 30 June 2014 20:28

Well, it is hilarious. But hope she knows when to stop and explains in case someone takes it too seriously and try to report.

mt631 18

Tuesday 1 July 2014 5:04

It's not hilarious at all. She's making light of a very serious problem and jeopardizing her husband's reputation in the process. Not to mention the fact that she may not get a chance to explain her joke to someone because they may report it without reacting. Spousal abuse is not a joke, ever. Period.

metalhead88 9

Monday 30 June 2014 21:11

Wow your wife is horrible for doing that, one person will see that and call the cops then no one will believe her when she says it was a joke

nchic01 17

Monday 30 June 2014 23:00

i crack up everytime i see this. your wife sounds hilarious

ShalalaLynn 8

Tuesday 1 July 2014 1:02

It all depends, I punched a guy in the face for inappropriate touching and inappropriate comments especially cause my boyfriend was there (but he was busy at the moment) and said guy was supposed to be his friend, yet the other guys thought I was just being a bitch and yelled at me. They never even let me explain so now Im just the bitch :/ and I just decided it wasnt worth the arguement and just kept the truth to myself. Nobody wins when its physical. But I feel for OP, Im sorry bro. Its not funny when people assume and shit. I hope your wife doesnt continue this.