Miscellaneous: Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in... - FML

By weave9z - 04/09/2012 02:08 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 196

You deserved it 3 163

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Same thing different taste

By deargodthepain - 02/02/2014 16:53 - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 287

You deserved it 8 868

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

By Privacy please - 30/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 79

Romance

By shortyybrooke - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 718

You deserved it 539

Gunk

By married to a bipedal husky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Butler

Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 771

You deserved it 1 319

By wtfiswrongwithher - 07/05/2011 13:56 - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 761

You deserved it 7 515

By ShiddyDiddy - 26/06/2019 04:39

Today, my girlfriend's obsession with her bird reached a new level when she wrote him a song specifically for after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 201

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 011

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 3 537

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 130

You deserved it 4 862

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 900

You deserved it 58 066

Next

Top comments

GovernorGeneral 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 9:06

Everything should have its own theme song.

boating_guy 33

Tuesday 4 September 2012 9:04

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Comments

RentaName 15

Tuesday 4 September 2012 17:06

Good for your wife for making up her own theme song! Good thing she only does it in the shower. Mine is the Mexican Hat Dance. As you can imagine, it can get quite messy.

ally8 21

Tuesday 4 September 2012 17:27

Lol that's something I would do!

onorexveritas 23

Tuesday 4 September 2012 17:32

and the problem is?

Ibeatmyself 3

Tuesday 4 September 2012 17:44

I thought everyone did that my theme song has a 2minute air guitar solo

GimmeFive 10

Tuesday 4 September 2012 18:35

She's a keeper

sexylady3884 0

Thursday 6 September 2012 7:56

amen haha

steelx3 4

Tuesday 4 September 2012 19:46

Lyrics?

PhishloverA 14

Tuesday 4 September 2012 19:46

So what's the song called? How does it go?

tutu40 1

Tuesday 4 September 2012 20:11

That's hilarious :)

noisebox 1

Tuesday 4 September 2012 20:14

Cool record it and post it...

roquette5710 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 21:10

That's funny

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 558

You deserved it 13 722

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 824

You deserved it 9 496

The Top

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 916

You deserved it 2 547

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 007

You deserved it 4 198

Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 36 009

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 565

You deserved it 11 251

Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 940

You deserved it 1 298

Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 127