Kids: Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 18:02 - United States

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 4 171

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Same thing different taste

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 704

You deserved it 3 165

Hail Santa

By Holidayruined - 26/12/2021 10:59

Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 238

By Cherie - 07/12/2010 18:25 - United States

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 184

You deserved it 6 829

By thedancingtit - 07/06/2016 05:11 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 057

You deserved it 2 345

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 806

You deserved it 12 124

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 497

You deserved it 6 061

By lon01t - 07/05/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 293

You deserved it 2 647

Weird kid

By maria lucia - 05/04/2021 21:30

Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 204

By FirstDaddy - 16/06/2014 21:38 - United States - Southfield

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 289

You deserved it 4 478

Healthy family dynamic

By Matt - 20/03/2024 19:00 - Australia

Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 144

Next

Top comments

sydie5 12

Friday 2 September 2011 1:09

She will never look at Skittles the same again...

heyhihello95 12

Friday 2 September 2011 1:08

Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.

Comments

immortal628 20

Friday 2 September 2011 9:18

Wow, there are a lot of people without a sense of humor. This kid is not scarred for life. She won't fear rainbows forever. When she grows up, she'll remember this as just another funny story from when she was a kid. Kids cry about lots of things, but the worst thing you can do is shelter them. I thought this one was hilarious.

sirencouture 3

Friday 2 September 2011 9:45

I thought that when it rains on a clear, sunny day that the devil is beating his wife......ohwell.

YourWhaleisFail 5

Friday 2 September 2011 10:00

That is so messed up its funny, or I have something wrong with me. Probably the second one.

alexrox8286 0

Friday 2 September 2011 10:14

Your wife has major issues! Poor little girl

Chazyj 4

Friday 2 September 2011 10:42

That what I got told and he beat that botch hard :-p Na joking that's wrong

KnucklesDeep 5

Friday 2 September 2011 11:28

With a nutjob like that for a wife, her time of the month must be hell for you.

jessicalsmith 0

Friday 2 September 2011 11:37

Lmao that's terrible.

keeppinit100 3

Friday 2 September 2011 11:44

lol i know its wrong but its deff. funny

daydreamer244 13

Friday 2 September 2011 12:04

at least he won't beat his wife when there's a double rainbow, now those things are badass!

Notime4bull 4

Friday 2 September 2011 12:16

Your wife is the most accomplished troll ever OP.

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The Top

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 4 746

Today, I panicked when I realized two of my diaries were missing. I turned the house upside down, and found them in the guest room, tucked away in a dresser drawer. My only visitor in the last six months was my mom. I’m 37 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 232

The Top

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 721

You deserved it 40 593

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 706

You deserved it 3 981

Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 337

You deserved it 200

Today, while I was playing Walkabout Mini Golf on my Meta Quest headset, my battery ran low. I plugged it in the slot, only to learn a valuable lesson about three hours later: The headset doesn't charge if you leave it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 976

Today, I went to work using the train. While on the train, I fell asleep. I woke up 130km late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 464

You deserved it 2 839

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 244

You deserved it 6 477