Kids: Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil...

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 18:02 - United States

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 4 173

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 3 166

Hail Santa

By Holidayruined - 26/12/2021 10:59

Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 240

By Cherie - 07/12/2010 18:25 - United States

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 188

You deserved it 6 830

By thedancingtit - 07/06/2016 05:11 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 060

You deserved it 2 345

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 810

You deserved it 12 124

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 499

You deserved it 6 062

By lon01t - 07/05/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 293

You deserved it 2 647

Weird kid

By maria lucia - 05/04/2021 21:30

Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 204

By FirstDaddy - 16/06/2014 21:38 - United States - Southfield

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 293

You deserved it 4 479

Healthy family dynamic

By Matt - 20/03/2024 19:00 - Australia

Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 144

sydie5 12

Friday 2 September 2011 1:09

She will never look at Skittles the same again...

heyhihello95 12

Friday 2 September 2011 1:08

Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.

Comments

brooks10101 1

Friday 2 September 2011 17:31

Time for a new wife that one is broken in the head

mockingjay_fml 0

Friday 2 September 2011 17:44

Wtf , so the "wife" is a boy ? ... Doesn't make sense .

Scott411 9

Friday 2 September 2011 18:09

It is just as wrong to convince a child there is a devil.

MyS3lf 24

Friday 2 September 2011 18:33

This one actually struck me dumb for a minute. All I can think to say right now is What The F? Seriously.

JennieCakes 4

Friday 2 September 2011 18:40

Wth. Just wth

underdose 9

Friday 2 September 2011 18:57

Wtf is wrong with your wife?

Gamzee_fml 0

Friday 2 September 2011 18:58

DoUbLe RaInBoW aLl ThE wAY. :'0)

Daralea 21

Friday 2 September 2011 19:37

Your wife is HILARIOUS!....and very disturbing

shadow12_fml 1

Friday 2 September 2011 19:57

She is wrong, the devil only beats his wife when it's raining and the sun is out.

aerogxt 7

Friday 2 September 2011 20:23

Your wife or your daughter? Lol

Keywords

Party Awkward Lonely Love Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Grandparents Accident Miscellaneous Kids Annoying Covid Health Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Sex Intimacy Exhausted My ex

The Top

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 187

You deserved it 2 951

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 942

You deserved it 7 385

The Top

Today, in a rush to get to the gym after work for a class, I left my phone in the office. It's Friday and the building will be locked until Monday morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 409

Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 771

You deserved it 2 928

Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 117

Today, the man I was going on a dinner date with bought me an expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend came and sat with us. Somehow, the subject of getting it on came up. My date then said, "Expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 034

You deserved it 6 716

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 5 396

Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 263

Same thing different taste

Hail Santa

Weird kid

Healthy family dynamic

Top comments

Comments