Miscellaneous: Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt... - FML

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 50 525

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Same thing different taste

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 405

You deserved it 54 566

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 20:53 - United States

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 431

You deserved it 61 488

By Cass - 29/03/2012 02:03 - Australia

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 813

You deserved it 28 759

By Employee - 07/08/2012 19:17 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 435

You deserved it 12 612

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 300

You deserved it 7 209

By Quin - 31/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 2 051

Spotted it

By dollabill009 - 06/06/2013 08:49 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 287

You deserved it 8 563

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 780

Foul

By cdubb27 - 11/10/2010 06:00 - United States

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 122

You deserved it 9 043

Creeped out

By gymgirl - 17/12/2013 23:48 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 382

You deserved it 3 843

Next

Top comments

Sunako_fml 9

Wednesday 8 August 2012 18:55

That's just disgusting..

Welshite 39

Wednesday 8 August 2012 18:55

What a disgusting habit. You deserve the contempt of your peers.

Comments

Desijatt00 7

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:12

Bahahahahaha!!! :')

SirFawkes 16

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:24

Well, there goes the hygiene you DON'T have, and with the username you have... Good luck you slob

mongoose313 2

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:28

Natural. Reguardless of what these scrubs say, we all have done it and at sone point thought about it. Everyone who says otherwise is in denial and just trying to look cool to online people they will never meet.

zandalee 19

Thursday 9 August 2012 2:25

I totally agree with you! Seems people are so ******* uptight about little things like this, and yet don't care about important life changing things...

zack11742 7

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:52

Why is that you're habit?

183933 6

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:53

You should have looked back at them and said "what - you don't smell your own balls just after you have a threesome?"

183933 6

Friday 10 August 2012 0:34

Oh please... Whoever gave me a thumbs down for that one... Grow a pear! Lol

DeSoRoWx 3

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:02

Watch Blue Mountain State, theres a guy on there that does that!

skokob 7

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:16

Scratch and sniff, fruit smell?

hailezz349 5

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:36

You sound like you dont have many friends.. Well now you probbly wont hav any friends, sucks to suck or in your case sniff?

SoultheWolf 19

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:39

You don't have a girlfriend do you?

Leslier_fml 4

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:44

Ha ha ha ydi nobody wants to see that ever! anybody that shakes hand with you should be aware!

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Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Facebook Love Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 108

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, while talking on the phone with my long-distance boyfriend, he let me know that he was getting married in August to "some girl" for his papers. After I objected, he told me, "Well, you can marry me if you want." I'm not sure if I just got dumped or proposed to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 616

You deserved it 5 920

Today, for the first time ever, I was able to have a good hair day without blow drying it or using product. Or so I thought. The first words my mom spoke to me when I came downstairs were “Go fix your hair.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 210

You deserved it 251

Today, my mom asked me if I was a lesbian because I haven't brought a guy home in over 7 years. Nope. I'm just a crazy cat lady, minus the cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 786

You deserved it 1 176

Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 003

You deserved it 4 977

Today, I was considering joining the army, so I asked my veteran uncle what the worst bits are. He told me the worst was learning for yourself just how horrible it is to see the light go out behind someone’s eyes as they die with your bullet in their chest. I don’t want to join the army anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 1 278

Today, I told my husband that if he wanted any chance of salvaging our marriage, we would have to go to counseling and he must cut ALL ties with the woman he had an affair with. The sniveling worm actually had the audacity to ask, “If we stop the sex, can I still stay friends with her?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 092

You deserved it 288