Miscellaneous: Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street,...

By 404: sense not found - 08/06/2014 18:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 345

You deserved it 7 342

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Same thing different taste

Sore loser

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 02:15 - Australia - Picton

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 5 879

Public freakout time

By camzzz - 02/07/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 196

You deserved it 47 793

By moreliketurdmart - 03/06/2013 16:48 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 142

You deserved it 5 339

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 644

You deserved it 5 547

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 743

You deserved it 2 832

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 535

You deserved it 39 026

Stay out of it

By feelsterrible - 09/08/2012 19:51 - United States - Duluth

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 358

You deserved it 54 878

Thanks guys

By ConfidenceShattered - 07/05/2022 14:00

Today, I walked past a group of men on my way to work. Instead of catcalling me, they made pig and whale noises at me, and yelled fat shaming comments. By the time I'd reached my building, I had been reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 334

By anniecook - 27/11/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 985

You deserved it 7 253

Gotta get that clout

By Anonymous - 15/09/2023 22:00

Today, I was tricked into seeming like a sexist pig. A girl at the gym asked me to show her how to use a machine, so I did, then she started screaming at me to leave her alone. An hour later, I was all over the gym social media in a phone video heavily edited to make me look like a creepy gym bro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 98

qwtf 14

Sunday 8 June 2014 23:45

Perverts like him should be locked up. What a disgrace to the male gender. Sorry OP

Firedragoncody 7

Sunday 8 June 2014 23:47

You should have bitch slapped him.

Comments

TXFernwoods 26

Monday 9 June 2014 0:54

Well that really sucks. You could look at it optimistically! Now you know you have a nice ass :P

Witchylady 17

Monday 9 June 2014 0:59

You should have punched him . There would be no mistaking that.

91hayek 31

Monday 9 June 2014 1:06

Should have responded with attraction. That macho assbandit is unsure enough of his sexuality that he blamed you for his mistake; should have made him more confused by pursuing him and trying to grab his ass as well. Lol overtly macho assclowns like him are the most insecure and unsure; making them doubt themselves is hilarious.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 9 June 2014 1:24

Well I think he'll quit doing that due to the mix up...one less pervert on the road thanks OP

toesparkle 13

Monday 9 June 2014 1:41

Sadly, I don't think it'll stop him. Guys like that think they have a right to a woman's body; he thinks he's charming.

xNephilim 18

Monday 9 June 2014 1:30

This is what's wrong with our society. Morons think it's okay to touch another's body without consent and then get mad when things don't go their way.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Monday 9 June 2014 1:31

That guy is a textbook asshole.

zZLightZz 13

Monday 9 June 2014 1:32

"Today I realized I was gay when I slapped the best looking ass I've seen in years"

Queenie2014 11

Monday 9 June 2014 4:07

You don't touch anyone's ass regardless of sexuality

FYoLifeLol 10

Monday 9 June 2014 1:35

You better have punched him.

vikky538 28

Monday 9 June 2014 1:57

he deserves a black eye...what a pervert...

rocker_chick23 27

Monday 9 June 2014 2:07

I would have punched him. He should know it's wrong to sexually assault anyone.

91hayek 31

Monday 9 June 2014 3:29

I will assault you to teach you assault is wrong!

rocker_chick23 27

Monday 9 June 2014 3:44

How do I know he wouldn't try to rape me after slapping my ass? I have a right to protect myself

Queenie2014 11

Monday 9 June 2014 4:08

You have a right to defend yourself if someone assaults you

rocker_chick23 27

Monday 9 June 2014 4:12

Slapping a strangers ass is sexual assault. Don't believe me? Look it up.

hokie16 13

Monday 9 June 2014 4:18

I would have punched him too, but it's not self defense if he just slaps your ass once and walks away. You'd probably get away with it anyway, but definitely not with a self defense plea.