Kids: Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old...

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 895

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By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 608

By momlife - 28/03/2016 20:45 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 129

You deserved it 2 088

"Pooping and Shit"

By everybodypoops - 02/08/2017 20:00

Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 882

You deserved it 546

Express yourself

By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 124

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 627

You deserved it 74 789

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 938

You deserved it 4 479

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 722

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 144

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 884

You deserved it 8 366

blondeamazonian 18

Wednesday 11 March 2015 18:34

Life with a toddler. Not sure what more could have been expected from that moment...

abbyade 21

Wednesday 11 March 2015 18:34

Lol that's so adorable. Lol I don't know what you were expecting her to say. Cute!

Comments

PurpleMyth 28

Wednesday 11 March 2015 23:30

I know that it was probably awkward, but there isn't anything to be ashamed of. Everyone does it, you don't seem like a mutant for going to the bathroom.

_cherie_ 6

Wednesday 11 March 2015 23:43

Sounds like a shitty situation to me..

iseebearbears 27

Thursday 12 March 2015 0:15

Um, I really don't see what's wrong with the scenario.

jamescrazy96 17

Thursday 12 March 2015 0:25

Kids do the darnest things!

swanheart 35

Thursday 12 March 2015 0:28

Kids have no filter, especially at that age! Also Am I the only one who thinks the op missed a trick with her username? It should totally have been 'turdisnottheword'

LyricaSilvan 29

Thursday 12 March 2015 0:35

She's three. What did you expect?

Agtthepw 21

Thursday 12 March 2015 2:12

Break the suspense OP! Who was over the phone and was glad to hear you were pooping?!

nhbayp2y 1

Thursday 12 March 2015 4:22

similar experience.... when mine was 3 .... "Mom r u pooping.......??smell.....T . T " Happened... on the WALMART's toilet... haha

Drosophila82 18

Thursday 12 March 2015 4:53

Yup, done that once to my dad. He was lying down after a long day, he told me to say that he's not in yet (this is before cell phones) so I told the caller, "dad says he's not here now!"