Health: Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face...

By Username - 15/07/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 204

You deserved it 7 946

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Same thing different taste

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 907

You deserved it 4 554

By Anonymous - 27/10/2017 06:03

Today, I purchased a cactus in a cute little pot and put it on my windowsill so it could get sun. Unfortunately, that's also where I have my alarm clock. Guess which one I grabbed in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 234

You deserved it 2 696

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 820

You deserved it 6 294

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 410

You deserved it 32 999

By TheSublime - 21/10/2009 13:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 866

You deserved it 4 655

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 898

You deserved it 54 456

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 505

Blind rage

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 046

You deserved it 2 859

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 413

You deserved it 32 295

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 516

You deserved it 3 876

GigaB 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:38

don't sleep under a cactus?

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:27

Faceplant.

Comments

heyitsrachel98 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:18

lawl.

paradiseisland01 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:20

sorry. to hear about you and your face .

Badtz_maru_fml 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:21

*cactus falls on face* SURPRISE!!!

jjice 6

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:27

WINNING, duh

kraine0712 2

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:29

The best part of waking up is a cactus to the face.

MikeO21 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:33

you deserved it

KatyB_fml 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:34

Well who did you piss off lol! ouch! That's some karma right there!

HahaYDI 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:37

That's how they do wakeup calls in the military nowadays. If you don't wake up they throw a cactus at your face.

Polmkk 6

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:40

ouch!

LolitiaDiva 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:43

lol.. damn

Keywords

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The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 086

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 243

The Top

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 392

You deserved it 2 783

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 251

You deserved it 3 504

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 109

You deserved it 59 371

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 107

You deserved it 3 385

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 395

You deserved it 19 664

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 198

Same thing different taste

It hurts when I pee

Shout the victory

Blind rage

Top comments

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