Health: Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face... - FML

By Username - 15/07/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 202

You deserved it 7 944

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Same thing different taste

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 904

You deserved it 4 554

By Anonymous - 27/10/2017 06:03

Today, I purchased a cactus in a cute little pot and put it on my windowsill so it could get sun. Unfortunately, that's also where I have my alarm clock. Guess which one I grabbed in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 232

You deserved it 2 694

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 818

You deserved it 6 292

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 409

You deserved it 32 996

By TheSublime - 21/10/2009 13:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 864

You deserved it 4 652

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 896

You deserved it 54 454

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 504

Blind rage

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 045

You deserved it 2 858

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 411

You deserved it 32 292

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 513

You deserved it 3 876

Next

Top comments

GigaB 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:38

don't sleep under a cactus?

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:27

Faceplant.

Comments

LonggUsernameee 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:24

That's gonna leave a mark...

hayleclark 17

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:30

and this is why you never buy cacti ;)

rabidcatsaysRAWR 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:35

you must be a zombie!! :O

the1ninja 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:37

lol, nice. Why would you sleep under a cactus anyway?

XxThrasherxX 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:38

Why the hell are you sleeping under a cactus

CRaynee 10

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:39

dude that totally sucks ass; sorry bro

Rokx12 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:42

Amateur Acupuncture is the scourge of the industry. Making honest, hard working Acupuncturists go out of business. on the plus side I bet you never felt more relaxed?!?!

gh17m166 4

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:42

hahahahahaha fail ****** and the funniest part is it was a cactus watta ******* ******

lmn23 4

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:43

why were you sleeping under cactus?

YuffieK 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 2:44

gravity doesnt like you apparently.

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Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Kids Mental health Scary Creepy Parents Cold weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Work Cute Transportation Awkward Cops Crush Sports Education Teachers AITA Mother in law Public freakouts Weddings

The Top

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Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

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You deserved it 3 382

The Top

Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because he’d been rolling in mud. I returned to find him totally shaved, save his head and tail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 85

Today, a man finally was flirting with me in a supermarket checkout lane, even offering to help unload my groceries onto the conveyor. Turns out he was just distracting everyone so his partner in crime could steal $200 from the cash register. I had to give a witness statement to the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 326

You deserved it 1 472

Today, I learned to keep your posts private on social media. Your boss might find your Facebook status updates saying, “I hate this shitty 9-5, I want to be on a beach with a margarita.” I got a call from him saying, “You’re terminated from the shitty 9-5, so you don’t have to anymore. Enjoy the beach!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 2 719

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and somehow managed to pull a back muscle. I’ve been naked for 3 hours, scared to move because it hurts so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 200

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 947

You deserved it 7 733

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 667

You deserved it 5 438