Intimacy: Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked... - FML

By sosadbuttrue - 14/01/2012 13:15 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 180

You deserved it 27 958

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/09/2011 10:39 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 729

You deserved it 9 181

By hnickell93 - 10/12/2012 18:37 - United States - Visalia

Spicy

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 12 852

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Spicy

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 391

New skills

By Anonymous - 27/09/2020 08:03 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 1 199

By Anonymous - 14/01/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 692

You deserved it 12 957

Romance isn't dead

By budda1368 - 09/10/2019 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 230

You deserved it 1 281

Hashtag Not All Men, but quite a few, eh?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Spicy

Today, I was having some fun with a guy, but I had to fake orgasm twice just so he would get out of me it was that shit. Third guy in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 1 137

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 090

You deserved it 7 591

We're bad at this

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 20:24 - United States - Chandler

Spicy

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 497

You deserved it 12 060

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 710

Next

Top comments

TransitionCovert 6

Saturday 14 January 2012 16:06

How does a guy fake an ******?

zombicidal 11

Saturday 14 January 2012 16:08

lotion and evaporated milk

Comments

lizziee 0

Monday 16 January 2012 8:55

this sounds like me n my boyfriend except i make him ****** everytime... hes made me ****** once...we have been dating for 6 months...

teacupkoi 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 2:34

I still don't understand why people don't get this, but...IT TAKES PRACTICE!!! Some women are lucky and can ****** easily, but for others it takes both her and her partner time, patience, and experimenting to find the right technique - and then putting it into practice. I've been with my boyfriend for over two years, and it took us well over a year to discover what did it for more me. Not because we don't love each other, or didn't enjoy being intimate up until then, but b/c it takes practice and experimenting. Some of us ladies don't "come" as easily as others. :P Since that was TL:DR - short version. Don't fake it. You look like an ass when you do. If you don't like your relationship with the guy, end it and find someone you'll enjoy have sex with. ;P

thatguyyouhate 0

Monday 16 January 2012 14:16

how the **** does a guy fake an ******?

jackeechan 10

Monday 16 January 2012 18:51

How the hell do you fake an ******?

dubsweets 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:45

Anal

Hache_fml 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:43

Time for a game of naked twister. Loser has to perform for the winner!

michael91183 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:31

agree with shutters.

chubby_choco 17

Wednesday 18 January 2012 0:13

There are websites, counselors, toys, DVDs - don't let sex get boring, dammit! Do something interesting!! Roleplay, try some light bondage, anything!!

elena12 2

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:23

Sad life for you ;)

FreezeeMonsta 19

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:03

Oh god, that truly sucks, fyl.

austin4049 0

Thursday 19 April 2012 9:19

GMO That's sad

5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Friends Jealousy Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Mental health Therapy Covid

The Top

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 349

You deserved it 3 007

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 967

You deserved it 29 847

The Top

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 787

You deserved it 2 213

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 898

You deserved it 12 625

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 642

You deserved it 2 376

Today, I called my mother to hear how my dog was doing, because she had been taking care of her while I was moving. My mom told me she had put her down a couple of days ago, cause she was sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 711

You deserved it 213

Today, I realized I look better with a Hitler moustache than any other facial hairstyle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 190

Today, my son has always been antisocial but ever since he bought his first house he has seemingly disappeared behind it’s walls, never lets anybody visit, and has broken off contact with everybody he knows. Were it not for his coworkers telling me he’s at work everyday, I’d think he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 424