Intimacy: Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit...

By rmL - 13/10/2008 08:31

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 005

You deserved it 41 597

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Same thing different taste

By visn - 17/06/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 934

You deserved it 5 298

Hi there!

By anon - 26/07/2010 00:07 - Canada

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 844

You deserved it 3 536

Why hello there...

By Shocked - 28/01/2018 19:00

Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 696

You deserved it 434

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 335

You deserved it 642

Burglary [gone sexual]

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 05:11 - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 258

You deserved it 11 847

Offensive people work in TV? What a surprise!

By Anonymous - 18/05/2016 14:50 - United States - Frisco

Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said, "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 942

You deserved it 1 185

Check this out

By Roger Quimble - 24/05/2019 00:04

Today, after taking a refreshing shower, I found out that due to a newly-built platform, people in the apartment underneath can see right into my bedroom. While I was standing there completely naked, some guy smiled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 924

You deserved it 260

By Lewis - 04/09/2010 11:02 - Australia

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 255

You deserved it 34 495

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I found out that my landlord had been showing my apartment to new tenants without telling me, when I woke up this morning to a family of four staring at me scratching my nuts whilst watching TV on my couch in my pajamas, horrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 58

Not good enough

By Ophelia - 08/06/2016 04:05 - United States - Hudson

Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 886

You deserved it 1 070

ubbiejames 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 21:00

#5, the only person he knew that was coming was himself.

pommeblossom 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 3:34

Why would you do that if people were coming?

Comments

CottonCandyCum 0

Friday 16 July 2010 1:37

Locking the door would have helped.

boydee 0

Friday 16 July 2010 9:30

wow you are really pretty # 66 and 21 also # 17 just cause your a **** addict doesn't mean the rest of us are

randomviolet 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 4:18

panda bearz and pudden zebra horsez and nail polish

Hozay 0

Friday 24 September 2010 10:42

you should have started jackin off

toastedgrapes 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 13:47

that's the whole point of this - he WAS

biass 0

Friday 1 October 2010 16:58

idiot boy

SadinSherman 16

Monday 25 October 2010 13:59

Next time use a lock on the door

urdirtyolduncle 15

Monday 6 December 2010 22:36

SOLD !

magicstar 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 9:00

AWWKKWWAARRDD

truehitman2010 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 6:18

fake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sexylol_fml 4

Saturday 9 April 2011 0:58

Wow! How dis you not know they were coming? Why would you be wanking anyways when you knew they were coming?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 844

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, at our wedding reception, my new husband kept telling his buddies how he’s gonna “fuck my brains off” on our honeymoon and give me the best wedding gift ever - a pearl necklace on my chest. They all roared with laughter. He doesn’t understand why I’m upset and refusing to consummate our marriage right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 252

Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 102

You deserved it 5 365

Today, after telling my boyfriend of 8 years on Monday that I'm unhappy and don’t want to be in a relationship anymore, he said to me just now, "So, I’m thinking of proposing to you in December." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 218

Today, and for the past seven weeks, the weather forecast has been the same, invariably saying, "This week, it’ll be either hot or rainy, but next week it’ll be mild and sunny." I’m still waiting for "next week's” weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 181

Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 479

Today, I woke up without back pain for the first time in a few weeks, so I thought it was a good day for a morning wank. When I was almost there, I felt a sharp pain shoot down my lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 159