wow. sucks, but thats why you dont wait till marriage, sex can be a very important part of a relationship. waiting till marriage can make you act without thinking things through thoroughly, we have a sex drive for a reason, suppressing an instinct like that is mutilation of your spirit, you have a chanel in your brain devoted nearly entirely to sex. There are five chanels accesible to the conscious mind. I hope that you and your wife work things out, but you deserved it for waiting until you were locked together.

I am surprised that no one brought up the idea that she might have been sexually abused before. That could explain why she doesn't want to do it now and most rape and sexual assault victims still consider themselves virgins since it wasn't consentual. I'm just throwing it out there. It could be another reason entirely. Good luck and I hope everything works out.

A lot of these ideas here are interesting. (I'll preface this by saying I did not wait) First of all, if you don't believe waiting til marriage is a good thing, then one would imagine your opinion would be "Have sex when you're ready." What if a person really isn't ready, hasn't felt ready until they find the person they marry? What if they really just don't want to do it beforehand? Second, how do you know what you're missing out on if you've never had it? Practice makes perfect and we all started somewhere. Your sex life will not be bad just because you've had one partner - that is, if you're open to learning and experimenting with each other. Third, saying that the woman MUST have sex on her wedding night . . . I'm no femnazi, but I do believe this is 2009 and neither gender HAS to do anything sexually for the other. Comments like those are on a slippery slope to condoning rape of his new wife.

...so grab some lube and tell her that anal sex isn't *real* sex, lol

i think those of us whose parents were raised Christian during the 50s, 60s, and 70s, are basically victims of our grandparents' teachings. our grandparents taught our parents (especially during the era of "free love") that sex is bad and dirty and painful and should absolutely never ever be discussed or mentioned or even thought about. i still have friends who say they're not sure they're going to want to have sex even after they're married because it's such a taboo thing. (and we're not part of like a Christian cult or anything - we're southern baptist!) heck, after my sister got home from her honeymoon, i couldn't even LOOK at her for a week! (i was also 11 years old at the time, but STILL!) thankfully i've had amazing [female] sunday school mentors who taught us about the Biblical aspect of sex, so i'm not afraid of it like i was when i was younger. i know it's something that i can't wait to experience with my HUSBAND sometime after we're married. i also know that we will definitely talk about it before hand so he will know how nervous and excited i am about it. so, to the OP - if you haven't fixed this yet, PLEASE, on behalf of sex educationally neglected girls everywhere, be patient and understanding. and give your wife a hug. i promise you she needs it.

Maybe she's a lesbian. Not being funny.

Oh my god that's terrible, I'm soo sorry

Most people who claim to want to wait until marriage for sex (either for moral or religious reasons) are really just scared or nervous about the act itself. As a side note, the Romans instituted the "no sex before marriage" thing into Christianity because STDs were rampant and their followers were dying off rather quickly. It really has nothing to do with religion, just membership retention.

... owned. FYL

Why YOUR life? She must be terrified. ): Poor girl.