By Anonymous - 18/06/2014 19:06 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 495
You deserved it 5 038
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Top comments

Welshite 39

That's not how one is supposed to get fiber...

540 7
Saone_fml 27

Oh I'd heard a similar one. "I was outside gardening, I slipped and my trousers fell down, and I fell on the carrot and you know the rest... I don't know what prankster decided to put condoms on my carrots though."

327 2

Comments

Witchylady 17

Why, why, why would anyone stick a carrot up their bum. Let alone anything else? Don't they all know it eventually ends with a trip to the hospital and some lame ass story of how it got there in the first place. Some people are really scarily dumb.

5 21
rocker_chick23 27

The prostate is like the G-spot in a woman's ******. It's the same as a woman using a vibrator or even vegetables to pleasure themselves.

14 2
Liamj774 36

Wait you're not supposed to keep a box if vegetables in the shower?

24 2
buckeye1 9

That's one way to wash your vegetables for your salad. kind of like showering while wearing clothes so you can do your laundry at the same time

24 1
lalaney 14

Man, this ridiculous situation sure takes the carrot.

9 5
DocBastard 38

This reminds me of a story about a guy and a Coke bottle...

55 2
cakefete2 30

Oh really? How did it... uh end? I heard that those kind of suppositories are quite dangerous. The last guy i heard do that didn't die butt it sure rectum.

30 0
adkim78 17

I knew I would find you here doc

10 1
DocBastard 38

Where else would I be? A story about a carrot stuck in the rectum? Damn right, I'll be all over that every time.

18 1
ZombieSazza 34

I really, REALLY want to hear this story!

4 1
Saraishi 24

Where else would you keep your carrots?

7 0
captainsmegma 12

While you were removing it I hope you "tossed the salad"!!

2 10
emily4040 18

Why would you have a box of vegetables outside your shower?

2 11
rocker_chick23 27

He was lying, hence the cover story.

9 0
Sirin_fml 46

Don't you mean "HIPAA"? And no, no it isn't.

0 0
rocker_chick23 27

No it's not. The only way it would have been violated is if the OP said who it happened to.

9 1
DocBastard 38

Wait wait, I got this. Hey mjar86, please explain how this violates any privacy policy/law. Because if it does, I know of a blog that is highly illegal and is about to get me in deep shit. Please, I can't wait for you to dazzle us with your knowledge of this law which you can't even spell properly.

23 4