By Anonymous - 18/06/2014 19:06 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 495
You deserved it 5 038
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Top comments

Welshite 39

That's not how one is supposed to get fiber...

540 7
Saone_fml 27

Oh I'd heard a similar one. "I was outside gardening, I slipped and my trousers fell down, and I fell on the carrot and you know the rest... I don't know what prankster decided to put condoms on my carrots though."

327 2

Comments

Faded315 6

Lol who the **** keeps vegetables in the bathroom he lying he likes it in the ass no need to lie

13 88
rocker_chick23 27

Of course he is lying. Anyone with a brain realizes that.

73 1
glabberfasted 16

Was it the phrase "cover story" that gave away the fact that he was lying?

71 1
kumarina 35

This remind me of the story of a guy accused of rape, and daid that it was a nudist beach and he just fell.... Sorry OP, is a funny story to tell later

51 5
doctorhook86 24

I got stuck! It was like one of those finger traps, so I had to keep pulling and pushing until I managed to worm my worm outta there!

42 0
vikky538 28

at least he wasn't saying that he is trying to eat the carrot and it accidently went there.. sorry OP..

17 7
Emocuttergirl 13

Isn't there a g spot in a guys butt? Cuz that would explain

11 43
anticulas 12

Dear lord, it's fairly common knowledge at this point. the prostate can only be massaged rectally...

24 2
91hayek 31

Hey take it easy on her, not all of us are well versed in the arts of rectal stimulation; y'all experts are making some of us feel dumb.

28 2
ihaveasushicat 24

My mother was a house keeper for a hospital and had to clean a room for a man with a banana stuck up his ass.

41 0
doctorhook86 24

#15: Wouldn't the banana just mush it's way out after a while? After all, it was probably already brown...

18 3
RedPillSucks 31

Not if you didn't peal it.

19 0
doctorhook86 24

#73: Then clench harder! That thing will liquify itself if you tenderize it enough.

6 0
ihaveasushicat 24

#56, I don't really know the details. I'm afraid to know. I'm sure she didn't want to know either. Maybe it was a frozen banana... Maybe it was a mushed banana. All I know it was trapped in the anal cavity of someone who apparently wanted to doink a fruit.

5 0
MRP360 14

I felt like OP was about to make a pun about the cake being carrot cake

22 4
Auromo 14

they are eaten that way on south park

3 1
Kamon97 23

I think I have a feeling of who wrote this fml XD

7 22
tj4234 35

Just wondering, DocBastard, did you submit this FML?

9 11
MasonDude 16

I doubt it. He wouldn't submit this anonymously. It would be blog material!

12 2
tj4234 35

Ah, just wondered. It sounds like one of your stories.

2 4
doctorhook86 24

Apparently you're more experience with coke-bottle-bottomers than carrot-*******, amirite Doc?

19 2
Doberman101 29

Instead of just waiting to call back after you finished your shower, you decided to make carrot cake. Smart. FYL.

4 15