By Anonymous - 18/06/2014 19:06 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 495
You deserved it 5 038
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Top comments

Welshite 39

That's not how one is supposed to get fiber...

540 7
Saone_fml 27

Oh I'd heard a similar one. "I was outside gardening, I slipped and my trousers fell down, and I fell on the carrot and you know the rest... I don't know what prankster decided to put condoms on my carrots though."

327 2

Comments

Welshite 39

That's not how one is supposed to get fiber...

540 7
ComoEsJuan 24

Carrots are good for your eyesight.... ...your brown-eye sight.

124 4
iOceanus 18

That's how Quagmire looks so young.

66 4
incoherentrmblr 21

Well, vegetables are good for the colon...

32 1
wanted_2_want 40

#1 probably the guy had the runs and wanted something to "stop it" with. That was bad I know...

8 13
fortune789 17

I like how OP said "this one took the cake" hehehe carrot cake hehehehe kakakarrotkake

13 25
junkman6 22

Hey carrots are dangerous. Potato guns are fun... Load a carrot into a potato gun and someone's going to the hospital to get a carrot removed from their thigh. Not personal experience or anything.

7 20
ForFudgeSake 6

Today, the phone rang while I was showering. Since I was expecting an important call, I ran out, wet and soapy, only to slip onto a box of produce. I had to go to the hospital. They didn't believe me. FML.

3 1
spignona84 11

Are we ever going to find out who extracted the carrot?

11 0
Adam5858 17

Ehm I am not quite sure how to feel about this.Sorry OP for those life damaging images.But what the hell was he thinking.

179 8
Welshite 39

He was making tossed salad in the shower.

96 6
aruam365 24

I recently had a patient who had "sat" on a Barbie...

80 2
MrConcise 34

Welshite, you had three very snappy and clever comments for this FML. Are you sure you don't have experience in this particular field? ;)

9 31
Welshite 39

Well, I don't have much experience in carrot fields. Zucchini farmers hate me though.

75 2
91hayek 31

"He's back Obediah! He's out there in the field, get your gun!" "Oh lawd, no! Not my best in show! Not my prized baby! Woman avert your eyes!"

35 2
MichaelDeSanta 20

At the hospital I work at we had someone with a cucumber stuck up there, he said it was a "gardening accident."

25 0
sexaybitch 14

#52 my fiancé had to get a AAA battery from an old lady's ****** because she wanted to "Store it until it leaked." it leaked.

12 1
Soobie 10

I bet carrots are off the menu for awhile...if not forever. How could you ever look at one again and not have flashbacks?

171 3
ukeandfoodislife 19

Agreed. I feel awful for OP... I wonder if this is DocBastard:)

18 5
Saone_fml 27

Oh I'd heard a similar one. "I was outside gardening, I slipped and my trousers fell down, and I fell on the carrot and you know the rest... I don't know what prankster decided to put condoms on my carrots though."

327 2
gjikvtj 18

Yeah my prankster neighbor is a liscensed vegetable offender... look it up on the website if you dont believe me

33 0
J215B 33

If he wanted x-ray vision, that's the wrong end.

87 3
cricketsins 36

What? That story is totally believable. I mean - how else could it have gotten there?

129 2
silvercamaro 22

I think it would've been a much more solid cover story if he said he was taking a bubble bath

62 1
yeyeboys 20

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

8 35
Welshite 39

At least he was being safe and washing his vegetables. Showering with them is proven to remove all germs and dirt.

136 3
avila_boy22 12

oh yeah next he'll shower with his cucumbers

5 0