By Anonymous - 18/06/2014 19:06 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 495
You deserved it 5 038
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Top comments

Welshite 39

That's not how one is supposed to get fiber...

540 7
Saone_fml 27

Oh I'd heard a similar one. "I was outside gardening, I slipped and my trousers fell down, and I fell on the carrot and you know the rest... I don't know what prankster decided to put condoms on my carrots though."

327 2

Comments

wvcheesehead 13

Bugs Bunny saying "what's up my ass doc" I suppose it is healthier than shoving a candy bar up his ass.

16 2
weveallbeenthere 30

I'm sure the xrays have made it around already.

6 1
Merylwen 24

Do you see a name anywhere? Of hospital, doctor or patient?

13 1
rocker_chick23 27

He isn't breaking doctor/patient confidentiality. If he told us the guys name and where this happened, he would.

9 1
doctorhook86 24

#51 is a little grumpy. He just got back from the hospital, where he had to get a carrot removed from his ass.

7 0
foxmatrix15 8

On a side note: did u know Sylvester Stallone helped start the Richard Gere rumor about the gerbil?

1 3
moneybenny 10

You work at a hospital what do you expect? Smelling flowers all day? Hardly and FML, I feel bad for the dude with a carrot in his ass

0 0
CaptainSmith28 19

That story takes the carrot cake. *ba dum tss*

0 8
KayZeep 3

lol, We had someone (actually many) at our hospital say the exact same thing. The best one was a coke bottle that went all the way up. The x-ray would have made an amazing coca-cola advertisement.

11 1
91hayek 31

This destroys the credibility of people who do fall on vegetables or bottles or other phallic objects that aren't usually upright and would fit up a butt. I feel that with my bad vertigo, one day I will be looked upon as some kind of deviant when I was just really really unlucky.

18 0
KJ6 21

did anyone carrot enough to drive him in?

2 4
tehdarkness 21

I never understand why people don't just go and buy real sex toys.

11 2
Merylwen 24

Well, sex toys can get stuck as well. And then there isn't really any stupid excuse to make up, because sex toys only have one purpose.

9 4
91hayek 31

Because the carbon footprint is too large. Just grow a carrot, shove it up your ass and then wash it and eat it in a salad afterwards. You save on lunch and help the environment.

14 0
RedPillSucks 31

*throws carrot cake in the trash* Thanx for ruining my appetite

16 0