Love, Sex and Intimacy: Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm...

By notmyday - 25/02/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 067

You deserved it 8 966

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Same thing different taste

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 917

You deserved it 7 113

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 748

You deserved it 17 917

By 0h_Boy - 20/04/2016 20:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 911

You deserved it 2 546

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 4 734

Sex is out the window

By dfhgblsf - 05/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about five minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom, so we stopped and she left the room. After waiting around ten minutes, I decided to check if she was OK. The window was open. She was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 680

You deserved it 36 604

Countdown

By unsatisfying - 28/10/2010 05:05 - Australia

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 524

You deserved it 15 576

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 1 782

By Hikara - 13/04/2009 13:44 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 574

You deserved it 24 382

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 755

You deserved it 89 102

Watcha doin'?

By DamnThatsHarsh - 16/10/2009 18:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 434

You deserved it 4 357

BrandOldDucky 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 4:46

Wow. Step up your sex game bro...

Bauer_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 6:16

Hey, you can't miss an episode of LOST or else you'll be even more confused!

Comments

roflmfaoxD123 0

Monday 15 February 2010 2:10

ahhhaaa I love lost

blairyboo 0

Monday 22 February 2010 3:08

lost is the best I dnt blame her

imortal20 0

Sunday 21 March 2010 7:11

definetly agreed #2. very bad... very very bad

soonerfootball 0

Tuesday 13 April 2010 10:26

time to find a new girl.. that or get into Lost... id go with the 1st though.. blue balls suck ass

Spongii101 12

Tuesday 13 April 2010 16:05

Lmao, that happened when I first read it :P

fry102 0

Thursday 29 April 2010 8:17

hahaha i love lost!!!!

Trentman30 5

Monday 28 June 2010 7:56

a true fan to one of the best shows evar!

aiden2976 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 8:44

rape time..

chachi456 0

Friday 31 December 2010 6:50

ydi, you have no grammar... dumb ass

buddyguyfriend 1

Wednesday 4 May 2011 22:14

that's what u get for getting dirty close to lost. greatest show ever

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Social Media Love Facebook Am I overreacting? AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 253

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 245

The Top

Today, I bought a laptop so that I could have dirty video chats with my internet girlfriend. I got home only to find that the only place I can get a decent wifi signal is in front of my mom's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 618

You deserved it 24 212

Today, after a fight with my parents, I told them I was running away. They said, "Good. Now we have less to pay in child support." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 818

Today, I just got a girlfriend who I love a lot, but I’m friends with this other girl out of pity. It’s so obvious she likes me a lot, and even goes the extra mile for me, but she’s just not my type. I’ve contemplated many times how to get rid of her without hurting her feelings. I just can’t bring myself to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 567

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 768

You deserved it 2 962

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 955

You deserved it 3 705

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 675

You deserved it 13 485