Intimacy: Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I'd...

By Tinker-Bell - 21/11/2008 03:41 - France

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I'd heard him in the hall, I yelled out, "Come on, don't be shy, bring your dick back in here right now!" A voice then replied, "He's gone out to get some bread." It was my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 222

You deserved it 18 011

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Same thing different taste

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 799

You deserved it 18 367

So frustraaaatiiiiiing

By Anonymous - 10/05/2023 16:00 - Tanzania

Today, after my husband told me he doesn't enjoy having sex unless he initiates it, my mother-in-law barged into my bedroom only to find me pleasing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 208

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 691

You deserved it 2 376

Pleased to see me?

By kappaomicron - 19/01/2010 23:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 240

You deserved it 6 715

Hey there!

By LadyLola - 25/11/2013 05:22 - United States - Dayton

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 851

You deserved it 6 643

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 244

You deserved it 3 319

By Scarlett - 26/04/2011 17:28 - United States

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 649

You deserved it 6 154

Redhanded

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 06:00 - Philippines - Roxas

Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 459

By Anonymous - 17/04/2018 01:30

Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 889

You deserved it 394

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 11:33 - Australia

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 005

You deserved it 57 580

Root123 0

Monday 16 March 2009 5:43

The mother took it well I'd say.

Rilan 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:28

Oh my god thats horrible--I'd die!

Comments

PhoenixFiend 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 3:25

Agreed. Favorited for sure.

goldenone 2

Monday 5 April 2010 18:13

**** you name thief

OneHottBaby 1

Tuesday 20 April 2010 2:08

LOL xDD

sassyjesSa 0

Saturday 1 May 2010 11:05

omgggg soooo embarrassing ! how did she get in your house? lol

Mimorie17 12

Wednesday 18 August 2010 21:33

too funny.!

MsBrainDamage 0

Monday 11 October 2010 17:40

HAhahaha Wow, I would have hid in the bedroom for as long as I could

iVereor 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 9:57

nothing to be ashamed of. the mother has said that too many times. enjoy life lady and laugh about it lol. a mother understands lol

Luv4Amuc 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 21:03

too funny

Zero22120 12

Sunday 3 April 2011 6:16

This us the kind of thing that would happen to me, fyl

OriginalPooh01 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 3:49

Why the hell would you even yell that out. YDI for not having common sense to make sure he's in the hall. >:D

Keywords

Cute Love Surprise Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Sleep Health Insomnia Mental health Cooking Food Kids Weekend Parents Miscellaneous Annoying Pranks Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Cats Animals

The Top

Today, I was on a video call with my grandmother, trying to teach her how to use Facebook. I patiently explained the difference between posting a status and sending a private message. Five minutes later, I saw her new status: “I love you, honey. Thanks for being so patient with me. By the way, I still don’t understand this shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 102

Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 705

You deserved it 3 511

The Top

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 887

You deserved it 3 068

Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 104

You deserved it 2 067

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 366

You deserved it 4 214

Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 623

You deserved it 863

Today, it's been a week since I got a gastric balloon to help me lose weight. On the plus side, I've lost 5kg. On the downside, it's been one week of vomiting, diarrhea, not being able to eat solid food, and stomach cramps so painful that it feels like I'm constantly being stabbed. 15 weeks to go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 274

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 6 709