Intimacy: Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I'd... - FML

By Tinker-Bell - 21/11/2008 03:41 - France

Spicy

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I'd heard him in the hall, I yelled out, "Come on, don't be shy, bring your dick back in here right now!" A voice then replied, "He's gone out to get some bread." It was my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 227

You deserved it 18 015

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Same thing different taste

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 809

You deserved it 18 372

So frustraaaatiiiiiing

By Anonymous - 10/05/2023 16:00 - Tanzania

Spicy

Today, after my husband told me he doesn't enjoy having sex unless he initiates it, my mother-in-law barged into my bedroom only to find me pleasing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 210

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

Pleased to see me?

By kappaomicron - 19/01/2010 23:18 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 242

You deserved it 6 719

Hey there!

By LadyLola - 25/11/2013 05:22 - United States - Dayton

Spicy

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 857

You deserved it 6 647

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 264

You deserved it 3 323

By Scarlett - 26/04/2011 17:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 651

You deserved it 6 156

Redhanded

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 06:00 - Philippines - Roxas

Spicy

Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 459

By Anonymous - 17/04/2018 01:30

Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 896

You deserved it 395

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 11:33 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 009

You deserved it 57 589

Next

Top comments

Root123 0

Monday 16 March 2009 5:43

The mother took it well I'd say.

Rilan 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:28

Oh my god thats horrible--I'd die!

Comments

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 9 December 2014 18:19

That is mortifying.

Mcstud1y 30

Wednesday 24 June 2015 20:51

One of the things not to yell when company is over

DrRandom07 3

Friday 20 May 2016 8:04

well he could've brought a rooster in

IWillEatYouAlive 16

Monday 23 May 2016 17:11

6 years too late but, who's the name thief!??!?!

whynot159 9

Thursday 23 June 2016 13:52

You're married to him, that's what matters. It's your house, so don't be too embarrassed

marthamydear23 9

Friday 4 August 2017 0:02

why would you yell that if she was there?

J15237 25

Friday 5 June 2020 2:53

God I wish my wife would do something that sexy for our sex life. I know it back fired, but terrific for you for trying to keep it hot and intense.

Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 329

You deserved it 41 015

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 179

The Top

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 2 121

Today, I'm in Venice for a romantic weekend. While I was gushing about the gondolas, canals and the city of love in general, the only thing my boyfriend could say was, "Wow! How cool is it to be on the set of the Tomb Raider movie?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 482

You deserved it 9 013

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 492

You deserved it 267

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 195

You deserved it 3 481

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 829

You deserved it 3 809

Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 125

You deserved it 1 917