Miscellaneous: Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said...

By ilik3catz - 01/01/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 053

You deserved it 3 639

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Same thing different taste

By NotYourDaddy - 08/08/2017 00:31

Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 503

You deserved it 561

By dkajxu - 12/08/2009 12:57 - Singapore

Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 265

You deserved it 3 139

Quality family time

By Kjer - 24/03/2013 00:38 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out, "Well fuck you too." Very awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 173

You deserved it 41 736

By TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 16 475

Patronising

By quickfingers100 - 22/05/2011 09:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 399

You deserved it 4 247

By notsohappyniece - 02/11/2009 16:10 - United States

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 932

You deserved it 3 779

By Bear - 10/07/2017 04:30

Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 746

You deserved it 383

By FreakedOut - 31/07/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 108

You deserved it 2 829

By Alexa23 - 15/03/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 205

You deserved it 8 910

Power move

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 17:00

Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 170

utefan27 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:17

haha you just got burned by your dad

TXjuggalo972 6

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:21

don't worry op I actually kind of like flat chested women idk why actually I could care less

Comments

sk3l370n 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 12:47

make a joke about his manboobs

JaymeH 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 12:52

who cares, some guys like that. the size of the ******* does not make the person, besides its new years, probably a joke.

Zayna_604 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:13

flat is the new D cup

maxhashbrown23 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 6:02

mmm u smmeexxxy

corkscrew8888 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 9:50

win :)

xXFllnXangelXx 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:52

Who cares about looks or the size of your breasts none of that Matters. But your father is a douche bag just tell him to **** off

hideyoself 4

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:58

what a douchebag! you should've just burned him back by making a small dick insult

tweetbaby14 18

Saturday 1 January 2011 17:36

when a child talks about the size of their father's penis, you know something isn't right... even if it's just to get back at them.

mtnairtom 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:59

More than a mouthful is a waste ;-)

wriptidez 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 14:23

inappropriate

vanillatwilight6 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 14:57

just get a boob job calm down its not the end of the world if u hav a flat chest

i_lurve_you 2

Saturday 1 January 2011 15:34

is that even true?????????

thamavrikx7 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 16:27

some ppl like smaller boobs<

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The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 107

The Top

Today, my neighbour was singing in the shower so loud that I could understand every word. He was singing "Purple Rain", which wouldn't have been so bad if he only knew a bit more of the lyrics. He has been singing those same two words for half an hour now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 531

You deserved it 941

Today, after months of apartment hunting with my boyfriend, he told me he had found a fantastic place that was really inexpensive. It seemed way too good to be true. It was. He took me to a storage unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 532

You deserved it 641

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 710

You deserved it 4 611

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 305

Today, and for the past two weeks, the people living directly above me have decided to add rearranging their furniture to their daily routines. Not only that but apparently, 6 a.m. is the most optimal time for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 377

You deserved it 695

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 534

You deserved it 5 647

Same thing different taste

Quality family time

Patronising

Power move

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