Health: Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside,...

By UncleMonkey - 06/03/2015 06:18 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 580

You deserved it 45 212

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 553

You deserved it 2 159

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 825

You deserved it 3 714

By thecarisfine - 14/03/2015 04:27 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 8 358

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 389

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 716

The runs

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 04:58

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 528

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 393

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 151

You deserved it 2 537

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 570

You deserved it 6 316

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 556

You deserved it 1 615

whateves997 19

Friday 6 March 2015 19:11

You win the biggest asshole of the year award you prick!!! Why just why?

TheGreastest 24

Friday 6 March 2015 19:09

That's messed up op. just own up to it, it's better than letting your dad be in pain

Comments

joeblow6969 5

Monday 9 March 2015 0:08

This is your dad's FML, you ******' prick.

miss_amphetamine 24

Monday 9 March 2015 2:03

This is just horrible, OP. You actually care more about what some cute nurse thinks of you than about your poor dad being in pain? What in the actual **** is wrong with you? P.S. she is a NURSE. It's not like she doesn't know what a fart is. You ******* moron.

Cassandra2015 21

Monday 9 March 2015 3:32

good cover up

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Monday 9 March 2015 14:00

I feel sorry for you(r dad).

jquaw 16

Tuesday 10 March 2015 5:27

To all you guys saying op is a prick.. Really!? REALLY? How is he being a prick? The rolling over and checking if a patient has been incontinent is a regular Occurrence. Whether the kid admitted to farting or not, the nurse would still have checked him out if he's incontinent. And who's to say he came out of surgery? There's lots of reasons people are in the hospital. He could be palliative, COPD, ARO positive in a wound etc etc. Op did nothing "pricklike". Sure he didn't own up to a fart, so what? It's funny, don't take everything so damn seriously

miss_amphetamine 24

Sunday 22 March 2015 18:32

If I understand correctly, in that instance the nurse specifically rolled OP's dad over because she was worried about the bad smell. Maybe you're right and she would have checked on him anyway. That's not the point - what's messed up about this is the fact that OP chose to watch his dad suffer , over owning up to something as stupidly common as a fart, simply because OP cared more about what the nurse thought of him in that moment. He believed he could save his dad some pain by admitting it, but still chose not to anyway.