Intimacy: Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by...

By Anonymous - 23/07/2010 00:39 - United Kingdom

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

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You deserved it 16 882

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Same thing different taste

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

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By Joel_28 - 01/03/2010 00:33 - Canada

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 505

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By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 16:51 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 13 334

By i fuckin love habaneros - 22/07/2016 19:19 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML

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You deserved it 2 398

It's been a while

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Perkasie

Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML

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You deserved it 227

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

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You deserved it 5 309

Tough

By prostate - 08/06/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 409

You deserved it 7 057

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 14:46 - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

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You deserved it 71 730

Not now, Cooper

By Me. - 27/10/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 005

You deserved it 8 875

Not now, little man!

By WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY - 30/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, this might sound silly, but would you like to know what I think is the absolute worst time to get an uncontrollable boner? I'll tell you: While a female doctor is examining your privates. I swear, if there's anything more embarrassing than that, I'd like to know, because I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 173

tehslack 5

Friday 23 July 2010 9:13

Haha, moronic.

OreosBeGooood15 0

Friday 23 July 2010 9:14

Hahahaha way to go mc lovin !

Comments

Chizzles 0

Friday 23 July 2010 10:07

Lol wow pretty gross

FMLephant 2

Friday 23 July 2010 10:24

it wasn't a her, HE was a Murse

PurplePigeon 0

Friday 23 July 2010 10:26

she probably sees penises(sp?) all the time but since op is "massive" your question might not be all that pointless.

RawrBunneh 0

Friday 23 July 2010 10:37

wow... I would have smiled and take no interest in you... FAIL!

Jorgina226 0

Friday 23 July 2010 10:41

well at least you don't have cancer...right??

TwoStrikeBadAss 0

Friday 23 July 2010 10:47

Shoulda just been like "Listen Babe, it's human Nature so let it have it's way. eh?"

superbadd 0

Friday 23 July 2010 11:13

Ohmygoshh! How embarrising!

wilbur1979 0

Friday 23 July 2010 11:17

hey I'm in Cheltenham which clinic did you go to!? ha

hatemylife2234 0

Friday 23 July 2010 11:50

Fail

selenagirl_fml 0

Friday 23 July 2010 11:56

WTH? since when do people say that to nurses.... smooth move. poor nurse

Keywords

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The Top

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Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversely impacting morale". FML

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Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

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Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML

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Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

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Today, I had an all day volleyball tournament in a town an hour away. My dad left early, not realizing he was my ride home. I'm now stranded in the middle of a rural town with no way home anytime soon. FML

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