Miscellaneous: Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted... - FML

By itchybollos - 16/09/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 3 346

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 13:12 - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 349

You deserved it 2 863

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 776

You deserved it 4 994

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 243

The difference

By Robyn_mori - 31/01/2020 05:00 - Canada

Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said: "You don't want those, they are for men." I asked what the difference was? He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered: "Men have a penis!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 969

You deserved it 491

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 959

Look!

By dinosaurboy - 06/02/2010 20:01 - United States

Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 696

You deserved it 5 465

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 3 691

Buy your own then!

By Anonymous - 29/01/2019 14:00 - Germany - Bad Frankenhausen

Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 2 176

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 441

You deserved it 1 120

By lk07 - 12/07/2019 16:00

Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 246

Next

Top comments

Toggybbz 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 16:04

Your dad is my new favourite person. he wears short shorts in public and uses the phrase 'din-dins' <3

spidersilkx9 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 16:03

tell your dad to call me [sarcasm]

Comments

Ctwebsyter 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 18:30

haha, ur dad sounds like a slobbish ass-bandit

odexy 12

Thursday 16 September 2010 19:09

All I thought of when reading this FML is Hank Hill where he calls out to his dog. 'Laaaaaadybiiird! Come get your dindins!"

wDeemish 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 19:11

that's hilarious and kind of embarrassing :L

cchevy 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 19:25

is your dad cousin Eddie?

womblebat 2

Thursday 16 September 2010 19:29

your dad is awesome!

BoyBeyond 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 19:30

Well you live in Australia that pretty much cover the reason your dad is wearing the short shorts. LOL, also I think your dad scratching his nutts is disgusting and i wouldn't want anything to eat from him if i were you. I mean its your dad but come on usually when your nutts is scratching you that means you really need to take a damn shower. It's call hygiene people ew.

jkgfdxb 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 19:49

that sounds like my dad. maybe they can hangout sometime and scratch there sacks all day long in public

bebita 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 20:21

lol that's hilarious I feel for u bcuz my dad is the same way! lol

KBruce317 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 21:07

hahahahahaahaha I'm sorry, that is hilarious. Are you sure your dad isn't gay what with him wearing the short shorts and using the word "din-din"?

pianogrl 0

Friday 17 September 2010 3:55

aw I love German shepards!

KBruce317 0

Friday 17 September 2010 4:05

I love German Shepherds too!! xD

katiegurl19512 10

Thursday 16 September 2010 21:20

omg u poor child :( I wud cry if my dad did that I'm so sorry lol

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 424

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I tried a DIY face mask that involved using turmeric spice. After keeping it on for 20 minutes, I tried washing it off, but I couldn't get rid of the orange residue it had left behind. Guess who's going to work tomorrow looking like an Oompa Loompa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 251

You deserved it 7 334

Today, I'm ashamed at ever having become a parent after I found out my daughter has been leading an online bullying campaign against a girl at her school who has disabilities, both mental and physical. Some of the language she was using in the online messages were just disgusting and unforgivable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 382

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 687

You deserved it 5 029

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 425

You deserved it 9 063

Today, I had to hide under my husband silently as he tried to get our 3 year-old son to go play in the living room so we could both finish. Sex is hard when you have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 425

Today, I was diagnosed with a chest infection and given antibiotics to take. One of the side effects of the antibiotics is diarrhea. I haven't coughed once throughout the infection, but I sneezed just as I was ready to go out to the shops and now I need fresh underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 96