Intimacy: Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Spicy

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 4 306

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306

You deserved it 2 763

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 073

You deserved it 1 156

By StretchNuts - 11/03/2010 12:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 468

You deserved it 4 824

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 968

You deserved it 5 604

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

Dirty talk

By CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 236

You deserved it 2 209

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 733

You deserved it 5 666

By eeh - 07/05/2009 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 103 460

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Spicy

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 59 089

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 4 441

Next

Top comments

Xquisite1 28

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:25

Just tell him that "your" dick loves ******* "his" pussy. Problem solved.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Saturday 28 February 2015 8:26

a brain fart over a real fart any day

Comments

naiveprophet 15

Saturday 7 March 2015 5:17

It happens. You blurt out what you want to hear the other person say.

nic112 10

Sunday 8 March 2015 6:29

Jaja happens

duckmeist3r 13

Thursday 12 March 2015 8:52

I do this with my girlfriend; we both laugh it off. :)

randomnessdares 3

Sunday 15 March 2015 4:42

you should have looked at him and said." and you love ******* my dick"

Jayms_fml 32

Thursday 26 May 2016 6:47

LMAO! My ex said that once and I couldn't stop laughing. Poor guy turned so red :P

stellasue11 38

Wednesday 28 September 2016 6:59

laugh, and keep going, sex is supposed to be fun, right?

Zen-THC 7

Tuesday 24 October 2017 15:41

what do you not enjoy ******* your boyfriends pussy? ??? that's awesome thanks for sharing XD

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 39

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

The Top

Today, I was diagnosed with a tumor and had to cancel on the holidays with my crush of 4 years. He is taking another girl with him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 498

You deserved it 205

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 18 507

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 844

You deserved it 3 301

Today, all I wanted was to spend some time with my husband, since we're always very busy. He couldn't be bothered to put down his video game. Guess I'm forever alone, even in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 140

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 613

You deserved it 4 519

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 930