Intimacy: Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter...

By Anonymous - 15/03/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 932

You deserved it 6 212

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Same thing different taste

In flagrante delicto

By Matasha - 19/04/2021 23:00

Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that it’s been 2 hours and my daughter won’t stop bawling, or the fact that my husband threw the biggest fit, because I “had to come home too early.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 370

You deserved it 135

Overreaction much?

By whyyyyyyyy - 19/10/2022 12:00

Today, after a long dry spell, my girlfriend started coming on to me in the living room early in the morning. Just as things were getting good, her toddler rushed in. Now she's crying in her room, and he won't stop sobbing and asking, "Why was your wee-wee in Mommy's mouth?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 392

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 23:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 267

Inappropriate, honey

By Jessica - 15/05/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 47 702

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 732

You deserved it 3 806

Man child

By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 02:02

Today, instead of being an adult, my husband was more hysterical than my daughter during a hissy fit. It makes me want to divorce him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 192

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 814

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:49 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 512

You deserved it 6 568

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 278

You deserved it 6 689

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 254

perdix 29

Friday 15 March 2013 18:40

That sucks! Wait, no, it doesn't!

PenguinPower 8

Friday 15 March 2013 18:41

Wow I feel sorry for you, having to deal with two children at once!

Comments

ragini95 16

Friday 15 March 2013 23:24

now you know what having twins feels like.

cheetos127 3

Friday 15 March 2013 23:26

Bitch husband..... Haha

CarouselHeart 11

Saturday 16 March 2013 0:00

What a little bitch your husband acted like. Sorry, OP. Did your kid have a nightmare or something?

babyshaft408 8

Saturday 16 March 2013 0:02

Hey sometimes I think like that

nysysiphus 2

Saturday 16 March 2013 0:57

She was upset you were about to cannibalize her unborn siblings

limitedition 25

Saturday 16 March 2013 1:07

Next time tell him to go settle the baby & then you will give him the best one yet.

yaoifreak 8

Saturday 16 March 2013 1:58

baby:crap he found out !!!!!!

Obey_StudBoii 23

Saturday 16 March 2013 2:26

Wow I feel sorry you have to deal with a grown man who's going to act immature. If he was a real man he would have understood then waited after. Either get a new husband or set him straight.

TheLadyOpal 30

Saturday 16 March 2013 4:18

Tell him to grow up or he's not getting any more, since sexual activity with minors is illegal.

emjayyap 2

Saturday 16 March 2013 4:29

If you wanted more time to S your husbands D maybe you should have thought about that before giving birth. Especially because It looks like you already have a baby,YOUR HUSBAND. Time to grown up. And btw a ********? So classy, you're daughter is going to turn out JUST LIKE YOU! congrats.

32510forever 10

Saturday 16 March 2013 6:30

so, what you're saying is, she shouldn't give her HUSBAND a ******** because it's not classy? i'm sorry, but they are married. they can do whatever the hell they want in the bedroom. EDIT: sexually, of course.