Love: Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed...

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 721

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Payte - 08/04/2011 05:31

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 630

You deserved it 44 312

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 643

You deserved it 9 142

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 450

You deserved it 30 914

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 644

You deserved it 2 607

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 284

You deserved it 30 206

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 626

You deserved it 74 788

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 900

You deserved it 9 217

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 894

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 910

You deserved it 7 111

elisabeth1_fml 0

Monday 24 October 2011 12:11

Anyone who says they haven't taken a call whilst on the loo is full of shit. Lmfao. Or maybe its just me

ChantelRenaeee 0

Monday 24 October 2011 12:07

Hahah oh well. If he's your boyfriend he should understand you need to use the bathroom.

Comments

DocBastard 38

Monday 24 October 2011 14:21

I completely agree that your life is ****** because you 1) decided to take a shit while on the phone and 2) couldn't even remember to mute the damned thing. That tells me that you're a idiot. I hope your boyfriend dumped your stupid ass for your disgusting show of scatological failure.

Zomg_Okay 26

Monday 24 October 2011 14:27

an* idiot. Oh, the irony. :D

Bajee 10

Monday 24 October 2011 14:37

Dumped?? Really?? She took a shit not had sex with another man on the phone!!!

The_Troller 14

Monday 24 October 2011 14:40

Some people just don't understand sarcasm...

DocBastard 38

Monday 24 October 2011 14:47

Oh, the typo* and the lack* of proofreading* Sorry, I make mistakes just like everyone.

LaDeFreakinDa 4

Monday 24 October 2011 14:58

she's CLEARLY the one doing the dumping.

LaDeFreakinDa 4

Monday 24 October 2011 17:11

Also, these people obviously do not appreciate your usage of the word scatological

krismir29 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 12:04

If you are a doctor you could Very easily get your ass fired for posting a picture of a patieny

LaDeFreakinDa 4

Tuesday 25 October 2011 15:25

^ Stupid and unrelated comment is stupid and.... unrelated.

HomelessMuslim 0

Monday 24 October 2011 14:22

What are you talking about?? Women don't poop, they're always in the kitchen!!!

Savra_fml 17

Monday 24 October 2011 17:40

So you remain single because you don't have a kitchen, right? Keep it up!

pepelittle9 0

Monday 24 October 2011 22:49

=,= that is the MOST SEXUST COMMENT I HAVE EVER READ

grace14 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 4:56

Thats the most sexist thing. **** you. I think most women will agree that you should shut the **** up and maybe you should be in the kitchen you ******* ****. :)

raphdragon02 8

Monday 24 October 2011 14:45

Girls' farts smell even worse than guys'.

FREEDOM_from_fml 2

Monday 24 October 2011 15:04

Girls poop?? ...ew gross.

grace14 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 4:57

Everybody poops dumbass!!!!!! :)

perdix 29

Monday 24 October 2011 15:04

I'm wondering exactly what turned him off, was it the plopping, the farting or the orgasmic sounds of ******** he could never elicit from you?

Sienna420 4

Monday 24 October 2011 15:06

Yum

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 24 October 2011 15:12

Poop on the phone poop on the phone looking like a fool with your poop on the phone.

atlanta_lex 0

Monday 24 October 2011 15:29

You deserved it. Taking a shit, no matter how big, can be either silent/easy or loud/violent...you obviously KNEW it was going to be of the noisy variety and still forgot to mute the phone.... You must've been really enGROSSed in yalls conversation to forget like that!! :) *cue thumbs down

leadman1989 15

Monday 24 October 2011 23:46

Thumbs down sequence initiated. Stabilizers up, count down 3... 2.... 1 Mission accomplished.

deathbreadstick 10

Monday 24 October 2011 15:31

I guess I'm too close to my boyfriend. Using the bathroom while on the phone isn't a big deal for us... Or even in person.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 24 October 2011 15:33

Did he suddenly go silent because he realized he was being dumped on the phone, or because he was confused by the sounds he was hearing because "obviously, girls don't poop or fart". Clearly you were in the bathroom with some other guy.