Intimacy: Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 00:26 - United States

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 090

You deserved it 4 743

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 281

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 774

You deserved it 4 496

By Lukey1028 - 14/07/2015 01:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 341

You deserved it 3 459

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 651

Hearsay

By froyo - 26/02/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 423

You deserved it 4 413

By Wallz99 - 19/04/2013 06:00 - Pakistan - Plot

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 369

You deserved it 23 370

Classic

By Daniel - 09/08/2021 16:01

Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 101

What a cad!

By the2girls - 09/08/2011 16:08 - Canada

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 261

You deserved it 5 228

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 821

You deserved it 7 156

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

Pentium_4 27

Thursday 12 January 2012 8:56

oh man....next time you smell fish, you know what to say. BUT, only cause she was mean first ;)

StoryOfTheYear 14

Thursday 12 January 2012 8:57

No meat-lovers today?

Comments

123josie123 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:22

Lol.. It's not top bad if you know how to "work" it ;)

123josie123 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:24

*too

zaza_x_fml 5

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:31

^ leave him alone, mistakes happen! :P

zaza_x_fml 5

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:34

Oh wait, your just correcting yourself...my bad. *walks away in shame*

jbuckets_404 38

Saturday 21 May 2016 15:00

#20: I agree; *you're* completely correct....

Jewnut 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:22

Lol maybe she wasnt talking about you? I guess either situation is a losing game

aawweessoommee 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:29

My jaw literally dropped when I read this lol.

Branflakes78 13

Thursday 12 January 2012 13:21

It's not funny calm down

lovestheice 0

Friday 13 January 2012 4:27

It's funny to some people. Your the one who needs to calm down

youshitme 9

Friday 13 January 2012 5:39

And 'you're' the one who needs to know the difference between 'your' and 'you're' ...

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:38

Ask her if she'd like to make an order or cottage cheese and anchovies pizza pie.

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:48

Order *of Curse you iPod... -.-

AngryCanadian 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 17:02

That made no sense at all.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:15

You've never been with a woman have you? You'd know exactly why your comment fails if you had

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Thursday 12 January 2012 19:26

Do you realize how tired I am when I post these? I know they don't make sense. And what do you care about me personal life?? So I'm saving my virginity, Is that a ******* crime? No

elephantom12 9

Friday 13 January 2012 2:06

If you know it doesn't make sense then why did you post it? Yes, that is a crime. You have the natural obligation to to hump. START HUMPIN :)

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:58

Did you mention to your boss that you found an empty Pringle's can behind the counter, like someone *you* know?

Pelreskovich 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 10:10

Ouch.. Obviously it's not a big deal to her if she's still with you. I'd just forget about it.

_Vamp_ 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 10:15

She was referring to Earl, her sausage delivery man. He was short today.

AussieGuy1981 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 10:51

**** the bitch off. You don't need that shit

sparklecherry 4

Thursday 12 January 2012 15:24

Lol!!

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 12 January 2012 17:01

He would, but he can't reach, on account of his short sausage.

cheesendouche 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 11:02

flick her to the curb. she has no respect for ur manhood, if u dont flick her she will probs flick u soon anyway in favour of something that fits her looseness.