Intimacy: Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend...

By james - 14/12/2008 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 119

You deserved it 6 861

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Tu as compris ?

By gleefan116 - 28/08/2010 00:18 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 610

You deserved it 9 063

Protip

By Herman - 13/02/2023 06:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 473

By vivelawank - 10/05/2014 20:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 656

You deserved it 60 225

By French - 24/10/2013 12:52 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 727

You deserved it 4 691

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 565

You deserved it 1 620

Love is…

By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 375

You deserved it 5 277

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 04:31 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 113

You deserved it 3 625

By Ihatemylife - 03/03/2013 12:17 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 879

You deserved it 6 364

By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 02:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 185

You deserved it 2 826

By knowtoomuch - 22/05/2013 00:10 - United States - Aurora

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 167

You deserved it 6 800

Eladar 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 3:10

when she asked what buttsex was... you should have been like "i'll show you"

nuclear 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 7:37

whoa, whoa, whoa. you read ALL 15 pages of this site while you were hanging out with your girlfriend? Instead of doing something else.. more productive? FYL! Nah, more like FHL. That must have been boring since she couldn't really understand :P

Comments

luver123 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 17:53

dye your hair black and you'll so look like adam sandler

prospekt1 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 8:04

french girls are ******* HOT

DiTHL 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 16:13

why is this an fml?

thongar 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 13:05

Buttsex is an anagram of subtext :D

Cynic_at_best 0

Friday 24 July 2009 6:59

Oh. My. GOD. That's so embarrassing, I feel for you. :/

wren415 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 10:10

And you're the one who can't spell "one." =) Proofread before you decide to judge others' proofreading.

xxKatieegurlxx 0

Monday 3 August 2009 5:39

haha this made me laugh so much

Ub3r_Crippl3 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 4:13

YDI for dating a French girl? No, YDI for dating a girl. YDI FOR EXISTING blahhghgahjgd!!!(!? How's that for trolling? Do I pass the test oh elder trolls?

MakeAScene 4

Thursday 31 March 2011 10:15

Just stop..

Music_Peace_1234 0

Friday 14 August 2009 4:42

Umm... what IS Wanking? Someone care to explain? LOL XD By the way, how do you 'favourite' FMLs? Yeah, I am pretty new at this... None of my FMLs will show up!! I dont understand!!! :Z It aggrovates me, LOL. :P anyways, someone plzzzz explain to me what the frig wanking is?! Lol, thx!! :) Yours truely, Music_Peace_1234

loludeserveit 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 8:05

wanking is what I do when I think about hayley williams, or masturbation, in laymans terms.

pulpfiction_fml 3

Monday 24 August 2009 21:25

Music_Peace_1234, wanking is another word for masturbating (only used when speaking of stroking the penis. Females can not wank) To add FMLs to your favourites, click the little grey + icon at the bottom of the anecdote. Something will pop up that says "Add to Facebook" or "Add to Favourites".