Relatable, Awkward, First Dates and Love: Todd is fine, and you?

Todd is fine, and you?

By blind_date - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the third person. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 920

You deserved it 6 432

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Top comments

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 13 September 2009 12:05

Rachel thought this was funny

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 13 September 2009 12:06

Alan agrees with Rachel, and also just favorited this FML. Alan doesn't believe your life is ******.

Comments

censorshipoff 0

Monday 14 September 2009 7:38

Damnit, all the Jimmy jokes got taken.

awesomeness101 0

Monday 14 September 2009 7:56

Jamie thinks that hilarious.

2005KonaScrapp 0

Monday 14 September 2009 8:19

Thomas doesn't like this fml.

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 15 September 2009 15:07

Rachel suggests you read another story then. (-;

shamaling 0

Monday 14 September 2009 8:56

i think 3rd person is cute personally

kabuki_fml 0

Monday 14 September 2009 9:12

OP- Whoever did that is just hilarious...

LOKIM8 0

Monday 14 September 2009 9:27

lachlan thought this was made of win and thinks you should put out.

buggen 0

Monday 14 September 2009 15:56

Alas Alan, another Alan already anticipated an attack against Alan.

OhgodNeinna 1

Monday 14 September 2009 22:48

Neinna laughs, she loves third person. She thinks this is a win.

elisa_sanchez91 0

Monday 14 September 2009 23:38

Elisa loves this FML! :D

MLSxxox 3

Tuesday 15 September 2009 21:03

marissa thinks this FML is hilarious and just added it to her favourites!!!! :L

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 3 948

Today, I found out my husband’s former mistress is going to be at Thanksgiving dinner. Why? Because his idiot brother married the tramp AFTER the affair came to light. So now not only is the whore my sister-in-law, she’s being included in every family gathering henceforth. Fuck this family and… FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 185

The Top

Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 441

You deserved it 3 986

Today, I woke up feeling amazing. Upon looking at my phone, I saw a text from my boyfriend's ex, saying, "I'm sorry." Ten minutes later, I received a slew of angry text messages from my boyfriend, thanks to his ex. What an amazing day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 270

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 360

You deserved it 7 403

Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 674

You deserved it 831

Today, I got my vacation days denied because I'm "too valuable", while the moron I work with gets his days off because he's "easy to do without." Well, I guess I won't be spending much time with my girlfriend who flew across the country to see me. Glad I'm such a valuable employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 123

Today, my boyfriend was shaving his beard in the bathroom when I left. An hour later, I found him exasperated after having shaved half his body. I had to help him shave every nook and cranny left because he said he was in too deep and couldn't turn back. Yes, his bumhole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 975

You deserved it 3 685