Sextoys, Funerals and Intimacy: Too late - FML

Too late

By hinting - 17/06/2013 16:43 - United States - Dearborn

Spicy

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 575

You deserved it 4 587

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By carebear1228 - 01/07/2014 17:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 033

You deserved it 4 783

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 397

You deserved it 622

By V - 09/02/2009 07:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 399

You deserved it 3 429

Weird kink but OK

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 558

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 3 569

Thanks for the memories

By How - 01/10/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 103

Quandary

By Anonymous - 18/05/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, my nana died today of a heart attack in her sleep. I’ll never know if there was something I could have done, because while it was happening I was upstairs with a dildo, as it’s been a month since I had sex and I had the urge. I feel so selfish and ashamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 291

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 945

You deserved it 2 613

Boomer humor

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Spicy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 339

You deserved it 6 329

By Jonnyboo - 29/08/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 553

You deserved it 2 799

Next

Top comments

teddy4nyy 13

Monday 17 June 2013 23:05

Quite possibly the creepiest FML I've ever read on this site.

yoimtrollin 24

Monday 17 June 2013 23:06

"Oh das nasty" - Cleveland Brown

Comments

my_name_is_earl 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:09

Maybe you got it in the will ;)

RainbowInput 8

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:40

I'm not sure wether to laugh or hide in a corner and weep.

Brilliant66star 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:02

The silver lining in this cloud might be a bit of levity in your grief now and a family anecdote for the younger generations later. Sorry for your loss.

HAY_JAY2013 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:29

Sad day she cant use it :'( YOLO lol

gruvychild 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:40

Ha! Ha! Who's the next of kin?!! One of the craziest FMLs since the beginning!

arre2006 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:51

Better late than never...

buckdharma 37

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:09

I hope you don't hear strange moans coming from her bedroom.

rockydify 22

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:10

Sorry about your grandma. :( She sounds like she was a super cool grandma.

mac8080 7

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:29

XD

Nwb1998 3

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:34

I think it's a sign

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 1 042

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You deserved it 11

The Top

Today, I learned that my wife had been cheating on me. What's worse? My kids found out three months before I did, and told me that they like him better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 538

You deserved it 260

Today, I dated my friend’s ex-crush, but she was mad about it. I know about "Girl Code" but the thing is they never dated, so it didn’t count. She’s also in a relationship now with a different dude, so either she hasn't moved on from him or she feels possessive of him. Now I "don’t belong" to their friend group anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 208

Today, my partner and I went to the inspection of a house we wanted to buy. The whole roof was illegal. This is the second time our realtor has shown us a house with major issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 130

Today, after my poly relationship with a married couple ended, I found out that the wife is blaming me for their divorce. To avoid embarrassment She told everyone around town, including my employer, that I’m a homewrecker. Nevermind SHE’S the one who introduced me and ASKED me to be their third. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 559

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 159

You deserved it 8 443

Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 155