Sextoys, Funerals and Intimacy: Too late - FML

Too late

By hinting - 17/06/2013 16:43 - United States - Dearborn

Spicy

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 574

You deserved it 4 587

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By carebear1228 - 01/07/2014 17:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 033

You deserved it 4 783

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 397

You deserved it 621

By V - 09/02/2009 07:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 399

You deserved it 3 429

Weird kink but OK

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 557

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 3 569

Thanks for the memories

By How - 01/10/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 103

Quandary

By Anonymous - 18/05/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, my nana died today of a heart attack in her sleep. I’ll never know if there was something I could have done, because while it was happening I was upstairs with a dildo, as it’s been a month since I had sex and I had the urge. I feel so selfish and ashamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 291

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 945

You deserved it 2 613

Boomer humor

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Spicy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 339

You deserved it 6 329

By Jonnyboo - 29/08/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 552

You deserved it 2 799

Next

Top comments

teddy4nyy 13

Monday 17 June 2013 23:05

Quite possibly the creepiest FML I've ever read on this site.

yoimtrollin 24

Monday 17 June 2013 23:06

"Oh das nasty" - Cleveland Brown

Comments

my_name_is_earl 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:09

Maybe you got it in the will ;)

RainbowInput 8

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:40

I'm not sure wether to laugh or hide in a corner and weep.

Brilliant66star 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:02

The silver lining in this cloud might be a bit of levity in your grief now and a family anecdote for the younger generations later. Sorry for your loss.

HAY_JAY2013 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:29

Sad day she cant use it :'( YOLO lol

gruvychild 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:40

Ha! Ha! Who's the next of kin?!! One of the craziest FMLs since the beginning!

arre2006 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:51

Better late than never...

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:09

I hope you don't hear strange moans coming from her bedroom.

rockydify 22

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:10

Sorry about your grandma. :( She sounds like she was a super cool grandma.

mac8080 7

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:29

XD

Nwb1998 3

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:34

I think it's a sign

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Keywords

Cars Transportation Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Dentist Shopping My ex Love Cats Animals Clothes Job interview Work Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family Parents AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Technology

The Top

Today, my best friend of five years left cause I “followed them” and that made me depressed, then I couldn’t go outside or to class anymore cause I was too depressed, then my girlfriend, whom I was going to marry, left me because, you guessed it, I was too depressed. Now I’m in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 189

Today, I dressed up nicely to see the guy that I like and have been talking to for the last 3 months. Just when I thought he was finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend, he told me that he's actually had a girlfriend for 3 years now, but was too afraid to tell me because he really likes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 148

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 654

Today, I got demoted at work and had a pay cut taken, all because I got sick from cancer and haven't recovered well enough to do every task. We are not short staffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 112

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 668

You deserved it 8 944

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 044

You deserved it 1 951

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 905

You deserved it 5 152

Today, I posted a picture of a drawing that I was so proud of on Twitter. It was the best drawing I’ve ever done. A few minutes later, someone commented saying, “What is this?” Looks like it’s back to the drawing board for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 224