Sextoys, Funerals and Intimacy: Too late

Too late

By hinting - 17/06/2013 16:43 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 574

You deserved it 4 587

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By carebear1228 - 01/07/2014 17:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 033

You deserved it 4 783

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 397

You deserved it 621

By V - 09/02/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 399

You deserved it 3 429

Weird kink but OK

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 557

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 3 569

Thanks for the memories

By How - 01/10/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 103

Quandary

By Anonymous - 18/05/2022 12:00

Today, my nana died today of a heart attack in her sleep. I’ll never know if there was something I could have done, because while it was happening I was upstairs with a dildo, as it’s been a month since I had sex and I had the urge. I feel so selfish and ashamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 291

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 945

You deserved it 2 613

Boomer humor

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 339

You deserved it 6 329

By Jonnyboo - 29/08/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 552

You deserved it 2 799

teddy4nyy 13

Monday 17 June 2013 23:05

Quite possibly the creepiest FML I've ever read on this site.

yoimtrollin 24

Monday 17 June 2013 23:06

"Oh das nasty" - Cleveland Brown

Comments

SterreError 11

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:34

Bet she was 'dying' to have it.

simoncat 11

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:37

You really should take it for a spin. You know... For granny's sake.

Perdition25 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 7:02

He is a guy you know that, right? My guess is even gay men don't use them, it wouldn't make too much sense that I can tell.

drayloon 50

Tuesday 18 June 2013 7:18

Troll grandma strikes even from the grave

dragonkyng 11

Tuesday 18 June 2013 7:23

the anticipation Was killing her

dodzin 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:00

Nice inheritance

onorexveritas 23

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:05

if only it arrived earlier

hope4life 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:08

To funny! Something to look back and laugh about. On another note-I am so sorry for your loss.

DJ_Lyons 15

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:14

Yeah... I say sorry for your loss and return it... Unless you want to keep it as a reminder of your grandma...

MrZsDad 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:34

1) she was human 2) it was new 3) you didn't walk in on her 'pleasuring herself'

FMLoverAgain 7

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:50

Burn it so she can use it down there

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend of five years left cause I “followed them” and that made me depressed, then I couldn’t go outside or to class anymore cause I was too depressed, then my girlfriend, whom I was going to marry, left me because, you guessed it, I was too depressed. Now I’m in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 189

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 046

You deserved it 42 026

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 1 077

Today, there was an Instagram post featuring a couple’s vacation spot, saying, “Tag the one you’d love to share this vacation with.” My boyfriend tagged his friend he swears is “one of the guys”. Everytime I confront him over these red flags, he says I’m “overreacting.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 215

Today, while I finished my business with my girlfriend, she asked if I used Viagra. I replied, "No I never use Viagra." She responded with, "You should." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 169

You deserved it 411

Today, my aunt vented her anger on us for no reason, and her words really cut like a knife. I always pray that someday I'll have a home that I can call my own, where I can lay my head and heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 132

Move it, buddy!

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 72