Sex, Awkward, Sextoys and Intimacy: Toys R Us

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 772

You deserved it 9 263

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Same thing different taste

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 685

You deserved it 60 137

By fashionVictim - 08/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 666

You deserved it 13 005

By littlefinger - 11/03/2014 16:11 - United States - Foley

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 674

You deserved it 6 999

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 090

You deserved it 15 455

Yes or No?

By Anonymous - 06/02/2020 18:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 894

You deserved it 318

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 16:25 - Serbia - Beograd

I agree, your life sucks 50 805

You deserved it 4 397

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 144

You deserved it 36 928

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

My precious

By machismo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake from her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 482

You deserved it 45 905

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 312

Welshite 39

Sunday 28 July 2013 16:00

To be fair, if she is happy with you then there isn't any need to feel insecure.

jlaginski 10

Sunday 28 July 2013 16:02

It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean. Keep rockin the boat!

Comments

Monkerz 3

Sunday 28 July 2013 18:43

You're supposed to put your balls through it as well as your ****.... so don't worry.

perdix 29

Sunday 28 July 2013 19:00

I can't imagine putting a ring on my ****. I think he'd look rather dashing with a scarf, an ascot or even a ... *Lowers sunglasses* dickey.

BrodieMike 4

Sunday 28 July 2013 19:00

Usually when bought in a set, the small one goes on the dick, the medium is for the balls, and the large goes over both

strangeite 4

Sunday 28 July 2013 19:08

We're you using it properly?

vbecka 17

Sunday 28 July 2013 19:10

maybe it was a set with fairly large ones? don't worry op, I'm sure there's something out there for you :) and your girlfriend is a keeper!

TheCanucklehead 22

Sunday 28 July 2013 19:27

It's ok short stuff. I'm sure she meant well. I know your a little mad and a tiny bit embarrassed, but don't worry. We all have these little faults. It'll be ok my diminutive friend

Enslaved 36

Sunday 28 July 2013 19:30

You're probably wearing it incorrectly. Maybe if it was called **** and balls ring, it would be clearer how to put it on.

posie97 18

Sunday 28 July 2013 19:43

You should master ate more often... It helps make it bigger. Slowly, but surely

Enslaved 36

Sunday 28 July 2013 20:04

The penis isn't a muscle so it won't grow any bigger no matter how much you "master ate" it.

vintaqe 28

Sunday 28 July 2013 19:46

This is why you don't buy toys for your ****.

DDante 3

Sunday 28 July 2013 20:00

Hmm. Now remember, a cockring doesn't simply fit over your ****; it encircles your entire package , that is, around the base of your **** and behind your sac. Putting it only around your **** may have been the reason only the smallest one would fit.