Sex and Intimacy: True Love Waits - FML

True Love Waits

By anonomus - 01/06/2010 01:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 630

You deserved it 70 386

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Same thing different taste

By newlywed - 27/02/2011 05:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 054

You deserved it 13 460

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 03:30 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 250

You deserved it 38 810

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 202

Bad sex

By izzie - 09/05/2010 14:15 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 5 085

By LoveLost - 09/07/2016 02:57

Spicy

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 259

You deserved it 2 786

To each their own

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 07:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 533

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 823

You deserved it 5 301

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 990

You deserved it 13 834

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 252

You deserved it 322

By sierra.sl31 - 28/07/2019 22:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of over a year decided he wants us to wait to get married before having sex again, after we've had sex almost every night of being together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 263

Next

Top comments

robinsn 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 9:03

Most people are their first time.

bobsanction 18

Tuesday 1 June 2010 9:04

I doubt you know what good sex is.

Comments

pink_bambi 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 6:14

he will get better

Espeland 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 7:03

of course hes bad the first time! and since both og you are prude, im guessing it wont Get better because you Are both too shy to make an effort or do something other than misionary position;) fyl

AtRoCiiOuSsS 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 7:33

This is Nucking Futs!

laideehawk 6

Wednesday 2 June 2010 7:49

Most people suck the 1st time. Buy a copy of the Kama Sutra or something and f**k each other until you both can't move. At least he's got the equipment and he didn't whip out a vajayjay or something!

HBubble 3

Wednesday 2 June 2010 14:50

YDI for waiting

ash92_fml 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 15:41

People who wait until they're married are LAME. It's just sex!!! YDI OP.

LifeSucks102 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 6:19

People who don't wait until marriage are LAME. It's sex. See how bad generalizations are?

xx_irish_rose_xx 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 18:49

well if he was a virgin of course he was, doesn't mean he can't get better.

ocean_eyes 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 20:42

serves you right for not having sex before. sexual chemistry is a huge deal.

choon_blaze 2

Wednesday 2 June 2010 22:38

U should have had sex before

bballref224 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 1:54

how do you know that he's the terrible one?

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The Top

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 152

You deserved it 60 775

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 060

You deserved it 56 739

The Top

Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 069

You deserved it 13 829

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 683

You deserved it 3 348

Today, I was starting my new job in the city. A man with a torn suit on came up to me and asks me for spare change. In a hurry to catch a taxi, I declined and rushed to catch one. At the office, my boss was late. About an hour later, I found out the man in the suit was my boss. He was attacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 039

You deserved it 619

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 48 216

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 485

You deserved it 12 198

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 912

You deserved it 42 589