Love: Useful idiot - FML

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 569

You deserved it 7 736

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Same thing different taste

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 985

You deserved it 3 403

By ClearOne - 12/05/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 661

You deserved it 31 992

By ...thanks - 07/09/2013 14:17 - United States

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 692

You deserved it 4 890

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 22:06 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 539

You deserved it 4 973

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 232

You deserved it 5 177

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 490

You deserved it 4 464

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By nobody - 01/07/2023 00:02

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 290

You deserved it 210

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 082

You deserved it 3 737

By dumped - 27/10/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 848

You deserved it 2 800

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 4 147

Next

Top comments

harrypotter955 19

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

1800-choke DAT hoe

The_Big_Boss 20

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice

Comments

horneyhic 15

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:47

Sounds like permission to sleep with anything that moves

VonBlitzkrieg 27

Wednesday 14 May 2014 4:31

Yeah. If she really isn't emotionally attached and is just using him for sex, she shouldn't care. Great way to turn it around on her.

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 14 May 2014 19:52

Has to have the right number of holes.

MooseKnuckle5150 13

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:47

Nothing wrong with a friend with benefits. Now you can find someone else without the emotional investment.

jl_word 10

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:51

Sounds like the perfect relationship!

91hayek 31

Wednesday 14 May 2014 2:40

Though rare, this relationship sounds pretty good if you're just trying to hit it then quit it. Rather a ***** than a dud. With annoying emotions.

DatWeirdoDoe 9

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:52

Um does that mean she get extra horny around u?....or nah?

Cortezthe1st 23

Wednesday 14 May 2014 2:00

Are you going to use proper grammar, or nah?

kurodansei 16

Wednesday 14 May 2014 3:36

nah

kodaechan 6

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:53

she can buy a *****, while you get yourself a new girlfriend :)

ktmla 14

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:53

Dump her. She's definitely a dildon't.

tashahoneyy 13

Wednesday 14 May 2014 2:13

oh OP I'm sorry:( that would hurt but on the plus side you must pleasure her well

Crofty92 17

Wednesday 14 May 2014 2:14

You can do better, full stop.

Dinonick 15

Wednesday 14 May 2014 2:28

2 things 1. Why would she admit it to YOUR best friend 2. Maybe your buddy is lying to get with her or something. you should probably get some evidence past "he told me so" For the record these are only what ifs. Im just exploring all possibilities

yoyocomeback 1

Thursday 15 May 2014 1:26

this is why every time I put a capital "A" on the internet, people start screaming about Illuminati

chickenfeet223 11

Wednesday 14 May 2014 3:03

Arnt you a lucky guy

SpamPam 18

Wednesday 14 May 2014 7:18

Tfw no gf

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 460

You deserved it 2 166

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 198

You deserved it 47 641

The Top

Today, my name was left off of the program at our band concert. I would have been fine with this if it wasn't the third time in a row that this has happened. Yes, I did show them each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 811

You deserved it 148

Today, after 6 years of dating, 2 years of marriage, a daughter and another one on the way, my husband decided that he’s "not the one for me" and told me he was leaving for his co-worker who he’s only known for a few months. Apparently they’re more "meant to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 341

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 652

You deserved it 3 623

Today, I found out my significant other has been secretly spending our savings. Inflation was bad enough, but goodbye safety net. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 101

Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 081

You deserved it 3 890

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 493

You deserved it 4 199