Smartphone, Cops and Miscellaneous: Vibe check

Vibe check

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my phone. On the bright side, someone found it. On the downside, they won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 770

You deserved it 3 565

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Epsilonyx 15

Sunday 30 October 2011 1:43

Y'know...the police may be pricks at times, but this is generally the type of situation they could help with. Or you can stab them in the face. Either way works.

lemonkittens 8

Sunday 30 October 2011 1:42

Lay their ass out!

Comments

mhayes119_fml 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 2:51

You should harass him and call until he freaks!

Smallazn 3

Sunday 30 October 2011 2:51

Even if the service itself is cut off, the guy/girl still has her phone with sim and contacts etc. And probably nudes.

Sinamoi 18

Sunday 30 October 2011 2:53

Inexpensive phone: Cut the service and leave the douche with the plastic. Expensive phone: Headbutt the shit out of them and take it back.

afulks78 11

Sunday 30 October 2011 2:55

Uhm kick there ass bro !

Smiff80 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 4:47

Hey what's up

cheefer 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 3:00

Drop kick him or her

FrostHeart 36

Sunday 30 October 2011 3:12

Umm is this the guy who found an iPhone and tried to run off with it but the phone rang when he was running away?

RivetingTaleChap 6

Sunday 30 October 2011 3:54

This is possibly the most normal FML I've ever read. Call the cops on 'em.

jcmagana 1

Sunday 30 October 2011 3:56

Finders keepers

Dhuva 8

Sunday 30 October 2011 3:23

Haha don't worry, karma will get them!

1JDub 6

Sunday 30 October 2011 3:29

Call the cops....oh wait, my bad. FYL

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Covid Argument Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 407

You deserved it 278

The Top

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 994

You deserved it 8 644

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 293

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 971

You deserved it 5 714

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 207

You deserved it 106 793

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 563

You deserved it 3 023

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 222

You deserved it 4 237