Welcome to the neighborhood

By poopsthegame - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Honolulu

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 675
You deserved it 1 898
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Top comments

RedPillSucks 31

Welcome to the neighborhood. We don't throw eggs at strangers here, we dump on their windshields.

91 5

Comments

That_Korean_Kid 4

That stinks. FYL op

15 43
boxbrandon11 20

Some people are a little different...I guess that is their way of saying welcome to the neighborhood :)

2 25
That_Korean_Kid 4

I was making a pun :c "that stinks"? Cause there was shit on his windshield....and...ah nvm lol

3 30
ManInTheMachine 19

16-Two things: 1.) The person above you wasn't replying to you, they were using your comment to reply to OP, i.e thread jacking. 2.) Trust me, we got the pun. Doesn't change the fact that it was bad.

46 4
Stalkerloo 11

At least they aren't taking a shit on the thread.

16 0
Jjgibbs 5

This fml make me think of a parallel universe where people shit on cars instead of birds

18 1
unknown_user5566 26

63- Looks like we're living in that "parallel" universe then, considering someone DID take a dump on OP's car.

4 6
Cainicide 5

Something along the lines of "Sorry, OP. Looks like you had a shitty day." would have been better.

7 2
philbelfrage 13

66 - but in this parallel universe there is one crazy bird that is always ******** on people's cars.

6 0
tsent8 15

63 that reminds me of that family guy episode when Peter ***** on a pigeons car to get revenge.

4 1
Pandaman_92 10

Some people will just steal anything that's not nailed to the floor. Just be sure to bring your valuables inside or hide them in the truck.

7 56
feldco1 17

Where does the fml say anything about stealing?

49 1
Pandaman_92 10

Sorry. Misread the "a shit" as "the shit."

48 3
gc327072 30

10- why would valuables be on your windshield anyway?

30 0
Nightwing98 22

50- it's possible there could have been a GPS mounted on the windshield.

5 7
Feverrotes 15

#10 - Just wanted you to know, I went back and read the FML with the "the shit" in place of "a shit". Laughing my ass off as we speak.

2 2
HelenLFC 27

Remove yourself Bieber homosexual. Since my last comment was removed..

1 1
ICastillo 24

Yeah maybe that's how the neighborhood lets you know the accept you, by taking a shit on your windshield.

11 4
iOceanus 18

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

14 3
cajekraze 7

"Here I made you a casserole and even digested it for you. Enjoy"

18 0
tjv3 10

Get that shit DNA tested then find the asshole it came out of and kick his ass. Then super glue his butt cheeks together

1 4
RedPillSucks 31

Welcome to the neighborhood. We don't throw eggs at strangers here, we dump on their windshields.

91 5
bettykooler 7

Nonono it's their version of a parking ticket. Though unconventional it gets the point across.

2 7
dilley86 4

Sounds like a 21 year old who couldn't handle his first night of legal drinking.

59 2
Cryogenix 12

So he climbed up on a car and took a dump? Pretty sure he would have fallen off of the car before he even started.

6 2
free2speak 14

Couldn't it be an animal? Sometimes dog poo looks like human poo (especially when they have diarrhea). Just saying that it would extremely uncomfortable for a person to do that.

1 4
Zomg_Okay 26

I don't think a dog would go to the trouble of climbing up on to a car.

13 0
citawita 4

Wow someone there already hates you :P Report it if it continues.

5 3
cajekraze 7

That's what I was thinking. OP may have inadvertently really pissed somebody off. Sucks

1 0
TotallyAradical 14

Sounds like you found yourself in a shitty situation.

17 19
connerwonner 7

Can't people make up new puns instead of using old overused ones?

9 2
nancyschmancy 9

How about, that's craptastic! Or what waste! Find out who it was and sewer!

14 0
challan 19

Nothing conveys a warm greeting on a cold Winters day like a streaming pile of shit.

32 1
perdix 29

They don't have cold winters in Hawaii. There the pile of shit will stay nice and warm -- like a tourist.

20 2
tsent8 15

Yeah perdix but once OP cleans it off their car it will go away. Unlike a tourist.

0 0
tj5810 21

File a complaint with the office.

10 3
loveingit 7

I wonder if they will have a form for that

5 0
patrickalamo 47

Complaint, for what? This is not the offices issue. Notify them, put up a camera if you can.

1 0
alexhaz64 4

Big bird strikes again.

22 7
Eelam_star 2

That's why we should have voted for Romney, he was going to cut PBS funds. Well, I don't really care because I live in Canada where there is free tucking health care :):)

3 3
unknown_user5566 26

54- What does Romney, Canada, and free health care have to do with anything?

2 4
j_cat187 19

Are you kidding me?! They have to do with everything. Healthcare, Obama, pigeons, violas, hamsters, and deranged blood thirsty Canadians are all they keys for the upcoming social uproar and anarchy that will result in the upmost end of all existence!

0 1
dre9889 4

How is this comment rated down? Nobody must've gotten it. Pity, this was comedy gold...

0 0