Intimacy: Where did that come from?

Where did that come from?

By psychicmother - 09/09/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 771

You deserved it 4 872

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Same thing different taste

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 1 742

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 990

You deserved it 14 931

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 938

You deserved it 4 479

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 596

You deserved it 17 309

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 132

You deserved it 2 669

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 282

You deserved it 44 106

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 400

You deserved it 8 740

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 032

You deserved it 12 794

By Werner - 02/03/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 657

You deserved it 67 499

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 543

You deserved it 48 717

MagicallyFat 12

Friday 9 September 2011 15:59

I guess your mother understands you. But maybe you were drunk and told her lol

marinus_fml 19

Friday 9 September 2011 16:01

Don't worry, she won't have a recollection in the morning either.

Comments

Enslaved 36

Friday 9 September 2011 18:21

The mom must have found the cuffs in your drawer next to your vibrator that time she was in search for vodka money. So, limbs tied....skin tight? Join the club! Lol

1NaMillion 13

Friday 9 September 2011 19:23

Your mom sounds like the life of the party... maybe take some notes?

Liklik_penguin 0

Friday 9 September 2011 19:34

Sleep talker

my2centsworth 15

Friday 9 September 2011 19:42

Now my heart's an open door and my secret love's no secret anymore.

Kaikohanakami 7

Friday 9 September 2011 20:25

....wha?:D

bizarre_ftw 21

Friday 9 September 2011 21:09

That's why I avoid even making bfs Known to my parents. I hate the gut wrenching idea of the two discussing Anything!!!! (and I'm a virgin!! There's less for me to worry about than you! Take a leaf out of my book, I'm Begging you!!!!!)

Daralea 21

Friday 9 September 2011 21:37

hmm, I'm the opposite. Tell my mother everything...in due time about boyfriends of course. If I told her about every crush I had whilst growing up she have learned to tune me out a long long time ago.

Daralea 21

Friday 9 September 2011 21:23

:( mothers always know

GabbyCharityM 0

Friday 9 September 2011 22:51

Your name is Psychicmother... Does that mean she was right about the handcuffs?

syfool 4

Friday 9 September 2011 23:07

You could've stopped typing at the first line...

tj4234 35

Friday 9 September 2011 23:30

you're from Cheshire so you're probably used to handcuffs by now.

blazingman311 1

Saturday 10 September 2011 1:29

I'm guessing you've never been to cheshire? For the most part its fairly rural and it also happens to be one of the wealthiest counties in England. Dumbass

tj4234 35

Saturday 10 September 2011 7:55

Dude I was joking, lighten up. Besides if you look at my profile you will see that I am Scottish. So I'd have said that regardless of where in England OP was from.