Intimacy: Where did that come from?

Where did that come from?

By psychicmother - 09/09/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 771

You deserved it 4 872

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Same thing different taste

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 1 742

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 990

You deserved it 14 931

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 938

You deserved it 4 479

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 596

You deserved it 17 309

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 132

You deserved it 2 669

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 282

You deserved it 44 106

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 400

You deserved it 8 740

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 032

You deserved it 12 794

By Werner - 02/03/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 657

You deserved it 67 499

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 543

You deserved it 48 717

MagicallyFat 12

Friday 9 September 2011 15:59

I guess your mother understands you. But maybe you were drunk and told her lol

marinus_fml 19

Friday 9 September 2011 16:01

Don't worry, she won't have a recollection in the morning either.

Comments

leadman1989 15

Saturday 10 September 2011 1:51

The real question isn't does she like handcuffs, it's is her mom a MILF? That's how I'm imagining her. mmmmmm ^-^

paigeminem 3

Saturday 10 September 2011 4:34

Ohmygod! I have nothing to say! Is your boyfriend still with you?

haha_lmfao 7

Saturday 10 September 2011 7:01

Umm... Like mother, like daughter? ;p

dansco 24

Saturday 10 September 2011 9:56

Solution : pull over and take phone off drunk mother! D'oh...

CaitieKates 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 19:19

somebodys a drawer snooper!

mintypoison 22

Saturday 10 September 2011 21:48

Really? Have your DRUNK mother answer a phone? What made you think that was a good idea? Just let it go to voicemail, seriously. YDI hon...

GayIdahoGuy 6

Saturday 10 September 2011 22:23

NEVER have your dunk mom answer your phone, duh!

benpele101 13

Sunday 11 September 2011 5:49

Your mom was probably getting wet while talking to your boyfriend

anamariba 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 19:09

Hope she gets u a nice pair.

Grayscale 9

Monday 12 September 2011 8:36

How does she know? It's because... Everybody loves handcuffs And people who don't like it are people who never tried getting handcuffed while having sex before :D