Intimacy, Smoking and Miscellaneous: Who said life was better before ?

Who said life was better before ?

By none - 17/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1 p.m., smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4 a.m., jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 184

You deserved it 46 392

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Normal

Today, it's the 6th day in a row my roommate has not left our dorm room. I miss jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 855

You deserved it 1 106

Never enough

By Anonymous - 16/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I spent hours in town getting everything I'd need to make dinner, taking the cat to the vet, getting gardening supplies, and filling up our extra tanks with gas for the mowers. I came home, only for Mom to wordlessly plunk down an empty pack of cigarettes, and grin like a Cheshire cat, then sip her wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 71

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 13:54 - Greece - Athens

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 5 724

By smoker - 26/01/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 465

You deserved it 30 424

Stoner

By Stoner - 25/04/2023 20:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was supposed to wash my wife's underwear, then go to work and interview a new educator at 10.30am. I ended up smoking weed, getting stoned, and sitting in my car at 11.00am at a McDonald's. I'm now sitting at my desk and still high as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 2 064

Can't catch a break

By Anonymous - 22/04/2023 18:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 370

By cigarettes - 11/12/2014 18:33 - United States

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 315

You deserved it 13 876

Coping

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 18:00

Today, I realized the only way for me to actually socialize is to smoke a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 486

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 678

You deserved it 8 089

By Anonymous - 18/05/2019 20:00

Today, I realized cigarettes are my cure for boredom. I bore myself out of $2000-plus a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 1 898

lavagirl 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 22:40

OMG.....is this my ex-husband?

Timmytwofinger 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 1:13

just top it off and invest in a bong

Comments

iamireland 1

Tuesday 16 March 2010 22:21

I don't want to be harsh (lots of people above have already got that covered) but, if you get to sleep in 'til 1 everyday, you have a GREAT life, don't pity yourself, make the most of it.

abalgatti 0

Monday 22 March 2010 5:08

ur one of the fxckers happy about the health care bill arent u op?

playhockey 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 1:36

play xbox lol that will significantaly improve your life

StarryMoon1264 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 7:52

Sounds fun to me.

frosting1012 0

Thursday 6 May 2010 0:14

u sound like a Ray of sunshine

melonsmasherrr 0

Monday 10 May 2010 1:20

god damn go do something else with your life

xRepTarddx 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 12:27

get. ******* life dude! get of your ass and kiss a girl dnt just watch the suck dick and get ****** on a Porno ... go do it yourself but if your too pussy bigtube.com pornhub restive mofosex there's alot