Creepy, TMI and Miscellaneous: Why did you tell me that? - FML

Why did you tell me that?

By mymomplucksbutthair - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 278

You deserved it 3 491

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Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/01/2016 21:54

Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 2 358

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 634

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 808

Thanks, I feel better!

By anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 976

You deserved it 3 032

Hungover

By RedheadA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 652

You deserved it 3 696

Jump scare

By izzy46111 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 479

You deserved it 5 317

By confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 952

You deserved it 3 378

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 040

You deserved it 33 820

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 2 483

Family values

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Houston

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 148

You deserved it 4 426

Next

Top comments

xAkonz 10

Wednesday 26 June 2013 8:27

I think it's up to the god Uranus rather than the brain gods.

Ian7890 23

Wednesday 26 June 2013 8:23

Maybe she will pluck yours?

Comments

Kat7595 10

Wednesday 26 June 2013 23:04

In what circumstance would she think that information would be useful to you??? Ugh....

Kc1001 14

Thursday 27 June 2013 2:01

Uranus unlucky as you could have been. could have walked in on it.

chuckcloninger 12

Thursday 27 June 2013 5:45

Not a chance of that image ever fading. At all.

How_you_doin 10

Thursday 27 June 2013 14:35

I don't see the problem? Maybe it's their way of foreplay ;) kinky!

AshAsh014 4

Thursday 27 June 2013 23:11

Ew.

misataylor86 10

Thursday 27 June 2013 23:31

Did you tell her it would be a lot faster to just shave them? Haha!!

Michael_A_Seay 12

Friday 28 June 2013 0:44

this reminds me of the new Chipotle's Wrath video on youtube...lol

WeskersSexslave 15

Friday 28 June 2013 9:15

you might want to pluck that memory from your brain

usernameunkn0wn 18

Sunday 30 June 2013 5:40

Hopefully she didn't find anything attached to said hairs.

JadeWinter 16

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:32

Is obnoxious really the right word? I'd say repugnant, repulsive, disturbing, horrific, vomit worthy... You catch my drift. Man, sometimes parents just share too much, huh?

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Keywords

Awkward Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 565

The Top

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 911

You deserved it 7 845

Today, I watched my mother's heart break. She found out, my siblings (20F and 18M), who've ignored her for years, have been adopted by our stepmother. She received said news the same way we found out my younger brother enlisted, and from the only place we get pics of him and my sister: her abusive ex-husband's Facebook page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 125

Today, my workplace often leaves out "expired" food from the café that our department coincides with, as it is wasteful to throw away perfectly fine cuisine. I soon discovered that the inside of a seemingly normal looking cupcake was actually filled with mold when I took a large mouthful of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 278

You deserved it 2 981

Today, working as a veterinarian, I received a complaint from a client. He said I sucked at my job, purely because I implied he should have brought his severely ill cat in a lot sooner. Which he should have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 368

You deserved it 880

Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 762

You deserved it 15 896

Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 144

You deserved it 5 234