Intimacy: Why not both?

Why not both?

By Alexandra - 20/09/2011 08:25 - Lebanon

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 631

You deserved it 8 986

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By moneycatious - 19/03/2012 23:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 360

You deserved it 5 540

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 225

You deserved it 9 907

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 540

You deserved it 4 503

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 800

You deserved it 6 878

By nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 623

You deserved it 9 625

Congratulations

By stdpositivenow - 18/10/2011 14:16 - United States

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 735

You deserved it 5 127

Surprise indeed

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 268

You deserved it 3 729

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 502

You deserved it 5 107

By Alycat - 08/07/2017 14:29

Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 945

You deserved it 864

By Diet_Water - 14/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 902

You deserved it 4 712

therob10 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 15:51

I'd rather have the head..

hailphire130 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 15:53

You know you regret having to buy him that watch. Don't lie.

Comments

miss_vain 12

Wednesday 21 September 2011 0:05

I sincerely don't see the problem here

kaileigh10 2

Wednesday 21 September 2011 0:07

Take it back & give him head.

mj_ok 9

Wednesday 21 September 2011 0:37

Well, we know it doesn't take much to please him.

ThatLooksSticky 16

Wednesday 21 September 2011 0:42

Christmas is just around the corner, and now you know exactly what to give him. :)

Randy84 10

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:35

Another piece of jewelry to match the watch?

BoredMofo37 2

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:03

Awkward moment when his mom asks what his girlfriend gave him.

allknowingbrony 5

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:20

And the problem is where?....

doogy15 11

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:34

We are men... Sex solve everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.... Except aids....

angel1234567 10

Wednesday 21 September 2011 2:42

Lol

detective_oreo 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:42

Woulda saved you money

smirnoff1695 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:43

I mean, it is cheaper.

chookyla1 5

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:52

It's kinda sweet in a way. He is saying you shouldnt of gone to all the effort.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 125

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 2 259

The Top

Today, while I was at work as a receptionist in a hotel in Spain, an entitled woman was pissed because her reservation didn't have breakfast included. I'd offered her three times the option to add it. She declined because she had to pay for it. She was pissed that she had to pay to include the breakfast in her reservation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 97

Today, they say our bowels are like a second brain. Well, mine seem to have the brain of an 8-year-old, because we’ve been playing “Attack of the Monster Poo” for five consecutive days now. Of course, like any self-respecting monster, it only attacks when you're asleep, then again once you've let your guard down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 78

Today, what should've been a five-minute job replacing a drain turned into a 2 hour ordeal just to remove the old one. The original part was put in incorrectly, so whoever did it used a full tube of silicone to make it watertight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 63

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 946

You deserved it 34 642

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 3 889

Today, it's been 3 weeks ago our 12 year-old son walked in on us having sex. Ever since then he’s treating his mom like she was the victim of some horrible crime and treats me like I should be in prison. He refuses to stop, even though we’ve both spoken to him about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 307

Why not both?

Same thing different taste

Congratulations

Surprise indeed

Top comments

Comments