Sex, Awkward, Party and Intimacy: Work harder

Work harder

By zep - 07/06/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 357

You deserved it 79 665

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Same thing different taste

By Lichelle - 10/03/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 108

You deserved it 72 721

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 169

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 983

By blah - 10/04/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 547

You deserved it 80 673

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 3 262

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 8 945

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 085

You deserved it 40 678

Caught in 4K

By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 464

You deserved it 127 826

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 206

You deserved it 30 482

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 075

You deserved it 64 024

funsize003 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

how could you possibly have missed that little fact haha? didn't you check the rooms? this is hilarious though.

jj732 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:15

hahaha why wouldn't you check every room you dumbass.

Comments

BaldOuting 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 19:05

haha that's funny you didn't even think to check their room. how soon did your parents return home? usually if you are throwing a party when the parents are gone, you make sure there's a few days before they get back.

SexyMami15 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 19:11

Owned.

jmeg_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 19:32

It occurs to me that this is an ideal situation for your parents to get revenge and embarrass the shit out of you. There are so many opportunities here. Ask your friends if they'd like to have a foursome, ask if they found the anal beads in the closet, remark on how they're getting more than you, etc. Good luck reconciling with your parents though. I hope they see the humor in this situation too, even if it qualifies as punishment-worthy. :)

aback 4

Sunday 7 June 2009 19:35

Even if your friends had been gone before your parents showed up, the spooge stains they'd left on the bedding would have been a dead giveaway.

Phillay632 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 19:36

How do you know that no bottle or red cup was left for them to find? Obviously, you didn't check very thoroughly if you didn't even look in your parents' bedroom... I wouldn't doubt that there were some red cups in there in addition to the white stains on your parents' sheets. You fail at life.

viscoffinifen 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 19:38

proof: http://www.Marie-gets-Deflowered.com/?id=4cbc0b53

nazooer 11

Sunday 7 June 2009 19:45

Ah but #9 it could mean an fml from his friends.. "Today, i woke up drunk from a crazy party then night before. I woke up in my friends parents bedroom naked with my girlfriend. FML"

ihateyouall 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 19:49

this is stupid because if you really tidied up that well then you would have checked in every room to make sure nothing was out of place so you would have found this pair of twats. bs mate.

MonkeyFeathers 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 20:02

wow your a real winner there aren't you. f***ing idiot what the hell's the matter with you? I mean really are you seriously serious about that.

DrAwesome 6

Sunday 7 June 2009 20:18

"Hmm... There's a cup... there's a cup... Ooh, some beer bottles, better clean them up too... Hm, drunken passed out friends... Well, they're not cups, so I guess they're good. Back to cup clean-up..." Seriously, I don't know how you'd miss that. But thanks, though. If I have parties soon, I'm checkin' every single bed, couch, sofa, loveseat, closet, under the tables, and even the flippin' roof if I have to.