Kids: You did ask…

You did ask…

By Anonymous - 01/05/2012 00:22 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 960

You deserved it 4 355

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 18:01

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew, who told me he learned about fire safety today. I asked him what he'd do if there was a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell over, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 370

By SadDad - 22/09/2012 18:11 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 370

You deserved it 9 816

By kansasgirl - 02/03/2010 18:21 - United States

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 766

You deserved it 4 386

By Crispy cripple - 05/09/2018 18:30

Today, my dorm's fire alarm went off. In the rush to escape, I slipped and fell off my bunk bed, breaking my ankle in two places. Crying, I told my roommates I needed help to walk. They shrugged and left after mentioning that I would slow them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 278

You deserved it 285

Teddy

By Anonymous - 03/06/2021 08:01

Today, I thought babysitting my nephew would be easy. WRONG. He put his wet teddy on the space heater to dry, and caused a fire. While I was putting the fire out, he decided to wash his burnt teddy in the sink, which blocked the plug and flooded my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 272

By Marjorie - 13/07/2012 17:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 233

You deserved it 3 444

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 637

You deserved it 3 068

Sexy morning

By Anonymous - 15/01/2020 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 753

You deserved it 281

By minustoenail - 12/10/2012 05:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 523

You deserved it 2 002

By scotsgal - 05/01/2014 05:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 088

You deserved it 5 092

val_159 1

Tuesday 1 May 2012 8:11

That kid's gonna grow up to be a fireman. I can tell.

TarieBoo 2

Tuesday 1 May 2012 8:11

so they no longer teach stop drop & roll ehh?

Comments

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 1 May 2012 20:26

You got owned by an eight year old?!

KittyJay 3

Tuesday 1 May 2012 20:54

Anybody else immediately think of George Castanza?

Coffeebang 17

Tuesday 1 May 2012 21:45

Everyone would do the same way if there was a real fire like c'mon do you think that we will actually line up & walk out in a orderly fashion

geerod22 5

Tuesday 1 May 2012 22:59

AnneeSo 6

Tuesday 1 May 2012 23:37

FYL for being pushed over by a 8 year old.

partout_fml 6

Tuesday 1 May 2012 23:48

Apparently there's an additional shade in women and children first.

husky22 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 1:11

that kid is definently gonna be just fine in a fire

krene97 2

Wednesday 2 May 2012 4:55

At least he'll get out of the fire okay. Of course, you probably won't do too well.

codemancody 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 5:40

this kid deserves an award!

HalaMadrid13_fml 6

Wednesday 2 May 2012 6:58

Id do the same thing.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my brother-in-law is a complete toxic asshole who makes me have panic attacks. He nitpicks my house non-stop and always puts me down. I'm a normal, good person, but all I want now is for him to suffer greatly in life for all the horrible things he has said to me and about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 124

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 137

You deserved it 350

The Top

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 760

You deserved it 4 557

Today, I completely lost it when I found out my mom was driving around with my 20-month-old daughter not sat in a car seat. She told me I was overreacting, and that everything was fine since she “prayed for a safe journey.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 859

You deserved it 239

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 848

You deserved it 9 501

Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 872

You deserved it 1 118

Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 437

Today, I took my $2,000 drone out and shot some beautiful footage of an old dam. I hid it behind a rock to explore the area further without carrying it, but when I came back it was gone. I was splitting the payments with my uncle. I work a minimum wage job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 7 999