Kids: You're under arrest

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 623

You deserved it 10 233

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Same thing different taste

By hfs palm - 21/06/2015 21:37 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 647

You deserved it 2 550

Reported!

By thatcreepyteacher - 17/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Mchenry

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 847

You deserved it 1 438

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 04:44 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 861

You deserved it 2 519

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 577

You deserved it 10 080

By notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 539

You deserved it 6 400

What's your emergency?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 23:00

Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 318

Temper tantrum

By "QueenCortana Tiffany Turner" - 07/02/2020 14:00

Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 341

You deserved it 299

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 293

You deserved it 365

Mad lad

By Bob H. - 26/10/2014 13:54 - Canada - Québec

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 425

By swarm20 - 05/02/2013 05:24 - United States - Mankato

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 503

You deserved it 52 408

13BlackCat 2

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:44

why that is the first thing that came to his teacher's mind i don't know. my first thought was cop. i think the teacher has his or her mind in the gutter

shorgenfunkel 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:49

Go to the school in uniform.

Comments

24788 6

Monday 4 May 2009 7:44

Handcuffs are fun to play with.

Meat_Boy09 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 11:59

Sorry to bring this up, But I hope to shit your gun was secured lol

Vertigopills 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:59

sure, you can use real handcuffs during sex... who ever said they're supposed to be comfortable? I suppose people are going to say that scratching, biting, pinching, spanking, hair-pulling, and sometimes choking (if the girl likes it) are supposed to be comfortable as well?

sengmengida 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 16:54

why does everyone mention the idea that he also leaves his gun unsecured? That's a retarded thing to assume. I am in the military and I lose every ******* thing I own but I always know where my rifle is. When you're trained in firearm safety, it becomes second nature to always think about where your gun is, but other shit like handcuffs doesn't get the same attention. Bottem line: if this guy had left his gun where the kid could reach it, he would have taken that instead. Retards.

Honda288 2

Tuesday 21 July 2009 21:20

What if it had been your gun dude people just don't think these days

Besker 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 18:45

just like no one knows what you're trying to say :P

RatIsKing 0

Wednesday 14 October 2009 22:55

#182: or the pile driver :D OP: you're a cop, right? tell the stupid teacher/ administrator. he'll think twice about "kinky toys" in the future

Kiranez 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 4:58

It would be hot if you didn't have a son

XxDrUnKeNGaMeRxX 0

Monday 12 July 2010 0:44

well if she didnt have a son the FML wouldnt exist

roymustanglover 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 3:21

Um, I don't know how it is where you live, but in my country, cops are not permitted to take any of their equipment home with them--not even their uniforms. Well, every country is different...