Weird, Awkward and Work: You what now? - FML

You what now?

By foshizzle - 25/04/2012 06:46 - United States - Orlando

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 979

You deserved it 3 188

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 692

You deserved it 6 404

It's the thought that counts…

By Charlatan126 - 03/02/2021 05:00 - United States - Hilliard

Today, I finally had a man say, "I love you" to me in a sincere tone. It was a customer, who was high, over the phone. I said it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 158

By anonymous - 19/07/2012 22:31 - United States

Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 954

You deserved it 6 787

By Confused and Disgusted - 23/02/2015 23:42 - United States - Sparta

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 292

You deserved it 2 441

By Lukey1028 - 14/07/2015 01:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 339

You deserved it 3 459

By Anonymous - 28/01/2011 19:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 948

You deserved it 13 984

By Neveragain - 01/07/2013 05:49 - United States - Tampa

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 096

You deserved it 5 423

By Ann - 18/06/2009 19:40 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 547

You deserved it 5 478

By anonymous - 05/01/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 796

You deserved it 7 570

Clocked

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 16:54

Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 166

Next

Top comments

UnearthlyEnemy 9

Wednesday 25 April 2012 15:26

Grab his face, compliment it, then utter "but we cannot be together".

Semi_Interested 3

Wednesday 25 April 2012 15:23

That man obviously knows whats up. Take it as a compliment.

Comments

Pandacupcakelove 26

Wednesday 25 April 2012 15:56

I would have loved seeing that! Hahaha!

DKjazz 20

Wednesday 25 April 2012 15:59

Somebody forgot to take his meds.

ryukk_fml 3

Wednesday 25 April 2012 16:52

There is nothing wrong with a little man love. C:

DKjazz 20

Thursday 26 April 2012 5:29

Fair enough, but if a girl had grabbed his beard and proclaimed her love for him, just out of nowhere and in all seriousness, wouldn't you think she was out of her mind?

loserman67 35

Wednesday 25 April 2012 16:01

There is nothing in the world more refreshing as love at first sight. He probably walked away dreaming of your manly whiskers tickling his upper lip as you kiss, then feeling them scratch against his thighs as you provide him with oral pleasure. Imagine the spank session he is going to have at home tonight! You have provided this man with hours, possibly days or weeks of pleasure. I tip my cap to you Sir, you are generous to a fault and think only of others!

TrentF13 12

Wednesday 25 April 2012 16:03

He must have been talking about the small bump on your nose. It's very attractive.

Kir0v 3

Wednesday 25 April 2012 16:03

Abort

loserman67 35

Wednesday 25 April 2012 16:04

Noor, you are a hopeless romantic!

ddddddddg 9

Wednesday 25 April 2012 16:13

That's....creepy

maryhellion 3

Wednesday 25 April 2012 16:13

He must have been a pogonophile.

ayyemmcee 1

Wednesday 25 April 2012 16:14

Maybe he's just bad at pickup lines, and that was his way of hitting on you....

Smileycloud 14

Wednesday 25 April 2012 16:17

Is this man's name Kesha by any chance ?

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Relatable Health Kids Mental health Parents Creepy Scary Cold weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Love Dating Tinder Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Today, I got back the essay I wrote about how my country's education system is fucked. At one point, I made a spelling mistake. My teacher wrote a note about it, basically calling me illiterate, and telling me to pay attention in school instead of whining about it. She misspelled "school". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 025

You deserved it 4 661

Today, I think I've figured out why I haven't had any replies to my job applications, or just weird ones. I was sending them from an old email address, which is something like "69_party_dude_420@…" (that's not the actual address, so don't @ me!) instead of my professional one, which is listed on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 507

The Top

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 755

You deserved it 337

Today, a customer left their shopping cart behind their car and backed into it. She then came inside and threatened to sue me personally for not sending someone to collect it from where she left it. After 5 minutes of her yelling, I finally got a word in edgeways: I don't work there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 278

You deserved it 359

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 524

You deserved it 4 859

Today, poorly applied makeup made it look like I have a black eye in most of my wedding photos. I would have laughed it off, but I was showing them to my brother who was deployed during the actual wedding. He saw the black eye, assumed it was domestic abuse, and attacked my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 159

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 299

You deserved it 19 721

Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 636

You deserved it 289