Miscellaneous: Zargon 3000 - FML

Zargon 3000

By gorgeousgirl - 12/03/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 466

You deserved it 3 058

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By charapos - 26/10/2021 11:00

Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 152

By shinoza - 13/02/2009 15:02 - Malaysia

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 565

You deserved it 8 384

By anon - 12/04/2015 10:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 870

You deserved it 2 499

By kimosabe - 02/03/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 931

You deserved it 6 749

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 203

You deserved it 78 627

By imsadnow - 31/01/2011 20:01 - United States

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 142

You deserved it 7 297

My eyes are up here

By LonelyCashier - 11/07/2019 20:00

Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 218

Clocked

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 16:54

Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 166

By Queso Dog - 02/10/2012 14:42 - Japan

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 251

You deserved it 28 606

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 08:50 - United States

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 869

You deserved it 3 330

Next

Top comments

matt1337c 0

Friday 12 March 2010 12:11

was she hot?

Litschi 0

Friday 12 March 2010 12:22

maybe if you buy her cosmetics, someone real will call you gorgeous, too

Comments

okieraider71 4

Friday 12 March 2010 17:49

I think we are going from Cyber-Sex to Cyborg-Sex.

zabava 0

Friday 12 March 2010 17:55

I thought there was an age limit for this site, when did they allow 5 yo on here??

Rexx 0

Friday 12 March 2010 18:18

Don't date robots!!! Don't you know the world will end!?!?!?

zenti 2

Friday 12 March 2010 18:22

#42, the same applies to retail when the cashier has problems trying to scan something. The most typical response from the customer is, "I guess that means it's free, right?" and then laughs.

RoxyRaccoon 4

Friday 12 March 2010 18:23

This only makes me think of WALL-E. :)

blastvortex 3

Friday 12 March 2010 18:33

Oh, so your life is at an end just because you got complimented by a static program? Goodness me, that's terrible. What kind of person would make a robot so needlessly pleasant that its commentary inadvertedly brutalized a person's fragile yet massive ego? It's unthinkable... Oh, and secondly, you're the second person I've seen today that doesn't know how to write but a single sentence among a host of sentence fragments. Could you do us a favor and learn some elementary school grammar, please?

lady_lindsey 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 4:16

today, I found a snickerdoodles clone. fml. ^^

Mac10nikka 0

Friday 12 March 2010 18:54

well at least she said ur georgeous nit glamorous, pretty, or diva liciouse..!!mmmm

do_your_job 0

Friday 12 March 2010 18:58

so? a robot was coming on to you! you should be flattered, you ungrateful prude.

Monikabug 9

Friday 12 March 2010 19:03

Damn! You are so gorgeous that even inanimate objects tell you, you are. Lucky girl. :) See? Just put a spin on it.

ReyEr9412 0

Friday 12 March 2010 19:14

I forsee literal phone sex in the OPs future.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 133

Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 849

You deserved it 7 489

The Top

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 3 813

Today, my little brother got a tattoo honoring our mom who abused us. The only reason I stayed was to protect him. I feel like I wasted my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 96

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 252

You deserved it 7 296

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 655

You deserved it 33 239

Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 587

You deserved it 524

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 451

You deserved it 3 893