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Top comments
Comments
Right before he finishes now, let out the most disturbing bloodthirsty roar so he still can't finish.
Does being first mean that much to you, you had to put "G"? I mean it's a serious question.
I wondered the same. Congratulations #1. Achievement ******* unlocked.
Come on there isn't even a badge for that
Ha ha ha. This is the most brilliant FML ever. Put a bag over your head and leave the light on
Is your ****** face the same as the thumbnail for GoatJesus' Shit Farts Online?
#2 your new aren't you?
Start wearing masks. Batman is pretty awesome.
Then he might complain about having sex with batman.
No one ever complains about having sex with Batman.
Robin might of complained
But batman is a dude. I don't think any straight guy would go down on batman. And I'm not trying to be homophobic I'm just saying. Maybe another mask would do like CatWoman or something. I'd be down to go down on CatWoman.
Id wear a Darth Vader mask, so then when OP gets pregnant she can say, "You are the father."
@liiiiiike, I guess that Batman joke flew right over your head buddy.
I dont know about that, if I were her I might go with the ronald reagan!
Or you could go doggie style. Solves all of the problems and mixes it up a bit.
Speak for yourself #26
I bet they make Batman sleep masks. *She* could be having sex with Batman, and he wouldn't have to see her face!!
Speaking of batman, we guys who put up a joker smile don't get the ladies as well as we used too...
Maybe try to control your faces in future to prove yourself to him
My virgin detector is off the scale with this one. Seriously though, you try controlling your facial features in one of these scenarios and get back to us on that...
39 is right...4 is obviously tight....
#4 It's not at all easy to just change your ****** expression. When you're reaching that peak, all you can really think about is achieving the ******. It's not at all her fault. I'm so confused as to why this post got so many YDIs. I hope that many people seriously don't think she does in any way.
Spoken like a true sycophant.
Oh my word I guess I should be more careful about what I say on the internet!
#61 dropping tabs refers to taking ecstasy tablets. Gives stop drop and roll a whole new meaning.
@ #60: we all learn new things everyday. But what if OP is an actress?
Oh please teach me how to have an ****** (not a fake one) and control your face! I would be delighted and so would be the OP.
Wear a bag and make holes for the eyes lol. I bet this is gonna get tons of thumb downs xD
As soon as you say that you get thumbed down
Oh no I'll give you the first thumbs up
#8 Hahh. You got more thumb downs than me. Even I myself gave you one : :P
this thread is hilarious
Tell him to do something funny back during sex and even wilder, more passionate sexc times will follow. Trust me I'm a Love Wizard also...
Why would anyone want sex advice from someone who calls himself the 'Love Wizard'?
A guy who calls himself love wizard o.o I bet you take wands up your ass lmao. WINGARDIUM FILLMYASSUP xD
Maybe I've been on the net too long but I can't hear someone call themselves a Love Wizard without remembering that ancient email where someone has cybersex and halfway through comes out with the line "I put on my robes and wizard hat....." spoiling everything
#84: I want to try this now.
Tell him that its called Fuckface
That doesn't sound very attractive
@33 then it should match her face according to her bf...
Let him give you a donkey punch
The F*ckface
You said that already. Wasn't funny the first time, either.
Keywords
Start wearing masks. Batman is pretty awesome.
No one ever complains about having sex with Batman.