Kids: Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys...

By outsmartedbykids - 28/05/2014 16:28 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 635

You deserved it 30 859

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Same thing different taste

By screwedwoman27 - 19/06/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 030

You deserved it 7 525

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 655

You deserved it 6 873

Fussy eater

By germaphobe - 19/08/2021 20:59 - United States

Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 154

Incoming!

By mvgirl - 22/10/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of nowhere. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look! We hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 080

You deserved it 5 598

Whoops

By smth - 06/07/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 361

You deserved it 58 716

By McChunky =( - 09/03/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 047

You deserved it 9 174

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 416

You deserved it 42 039

By laughxlove - 23/08/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 822

You deserved it 32 986

By Kathryn - 08/08/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 440

You deserved it 15 854

Let him cook

By Max - 09/04/2014 18:32 - United States

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 225

You deserved it 6 072

sirsquab 12

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:39

Those kids are going places.

Rosebudx 32

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:38

At least you've taught them to listen closely.

Comments

Rosebudx 32

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:38

At least you've taught them to listen closely.

katieemerr 15

Thursday 29 May 2014 0:06

You should be proud of your kids OP!

Pat_Tricksta 13

Thursday 29 May 2014 0:14

I think that's kind of cute rather than bratty. I wouldn't face palm and say fml, I would laugh but just dump the ice cream, lol. But like #said, you should have been specific

Helpfulman 17

Thursday 29 May 2014 0:44

Maybe OP shouldn't be such a bitch to her kids.

the_real_dvd 21

Thursday 29 May 2014 8:01

I agree with 29. They found a suitable loophole. You can't get any more American than that.

katieemerr 15

Thursday 29 May 2014 15:28

America.. **** yeah!

9echo 17

Thursday 29 May 2014 16:21

Although bad diets are nothing to laugh at, this is still hilarious. Especially your husband's reaction.

sirsquab 12

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:39

Those kids are going places.

shady_fox77 13

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:39

Not college, but places.

prototypesnipe 4

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:41

why not? That was pretty smart.

aerozynx 10

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:49

Why not college? They listened closely, and used critical thinking skills. These kids are brilliant!

shady_fox77 13

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:56

I should really rethink my comments more often

Dswank620 18

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:58

I believe I see potential future lawyers

ElementaryEdGuy 18

Thursday 29 May 2014 1:53

One of those places: the doctor's.

grapefruit_hd 7

Thursday 29 May 2014 2:41

#58 I would have said one of those places is the dentist still too funny

SpreadTHEKILLER 14

Thursday 29 May 2014 2:46

Either way they are geniuses

PoptartsKid 13

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:39

They didn't do anything wrong, you should have been more specific!

Sp1k3FML 14

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:39

Well played...well played

prototypesnipe 4

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:39

Future lawyers.

sunnyray812 42

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:42

They did as you said. They deserve the ice cream. :)

PrincessCastiel 27

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:43

I like their style, haha My mom wouldn't think it was funny at all or I was being "smart". She would of lectured me because "she knew that I knew what she meant."